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Diffstat (limited to 'river/about_author.river')
-rw-r--r-- | river/about_author.river | 224 |
1 files changed, 0 insertions, 224 deletions
diff --git a/river/about_author.river b/river/about_author.river deleted file mode 100644 index 90a1e34..0000000 --- a/river/about_author.river +++ /dev/null | |||
@@ -1,224 +0,0 @@ | |||
1 | case | ||
2 | duckworth | ||
3 | is | ||
4 | the | ||
5 | cowardly | ||
6 | but | ||
7 | lovable | ||
8 | great | ||
9 | dane | ||
10 | who | ||
11 | solves | ||
12 | mysteries | ||
13 | on | ||
14 | tv | ||
15 | maybe | ||
16 | you've | ||
17 | seen | ||
18 | him | ||
19 | while | ||
20 | watching | ||
21 | commercials | ||
22 | for | ||
23 | pine-sol | ||
24 | or | ||
25 | orange-glo | ||
26 | cleaners | ||
27 | these | ||
28 | products | ||
29 | dress | ||
30 | as | ||
31 | monsters | ||
32 | to | ||
33 | lure | ||
34 | only | ||
35 | the | ||
36 | right | ||
37 | kind | ||
38 | of | ||
39 | venture | ||
40 | capitalist | ||
41 | but | ||
42 | duckworth | ||
43 | believes | ||
44 | in | ||
45 | the | ||
46 | right | ||
47 | of | ||
48 | all | ||
49 | venture | ||
50 | capitalists | ||
51 | to | ||
52 | invest | ||
53 | in | ||
54 | products | ||
55 | they | ||
56 | believe | ||
57 | in | ||
58 | his | ||
59 | mortal | ||
60 | enemy | ||
61 | is | ||
62 | the | ||
63 | evil | ||
64 | old | ||
65 | man | ||
66 | jenkins | ||
67 | who | ||
68 | believes | ||
69 | that | ||
70 | the | ||
71 | only | ||
72 | venture | ||
73 | capitalists | ||
74 | that | ||
75 | should | ||
76 | be | ||
77 | allowed | ||
78 | to | ||
79 | invests | ||
80 | are | ||
81 | from | ||
82 | the | ||
83 | meddling | ||
84 | kids | ||
85 | gang | ||
86 | of | ||
87 | edo | ||
88 | when | ||
89 | not | ||
90 | being | ||
91 | a | ||
92 | great | ||
93 | dane | ||
94 | duckworth | ||
95 | is | ||
96 | a | ||
97 | christmas | ||
98 | ham | ||
99 | spreading | ||
100 | good | ||
101 | cheer | ||
102 | and | ||
103 | pork | ||
104 | products | ||
105 | to | ||
106 | underprivileged | ||
107 | gangs | ||
108 | of | ||
109 | venture | ||
110 | capitalists | ||
111 | in | ||
112 | winter | ||
113 | he | ||
114 | keeps | ||
115 | them | ||
116 | warm | ||
117 | with | ||
118 | his | ||
119 | questionable | ||
120 | farming | ||
121 | practices | ||
122 | and | ||
123 | threat | ||
124 | of | ||
125 | trichinosis | ||
126 | as | ||
127 | well | ||
128 | as | ||
129 | with | ||
130 | his | ||
131 | own | ||
132 | brand | ||
133 | of | ||
134 | firestarter | ||
135 | called | ||
136 | duckworth | ||
137 | stax | ||
138 | he | ||
139 | usually | ||
140 | steals | ||
141 | his | ||
142 | stax | ||
143 | from | ||
144 | dog | ||
145 | food | ||
146 | factories | ||
147 | making | ||
148 | him | ||
149 | a | ||
150 | modern | ||
151 | robin | ||
152 | hood | ||
153 | in | ||
154 | addition | ||
155 | to | ||
156 | a | ||
157 | great | ||
158 | dane | ||
159 | and | ||
160 | christmas | ||
161 | ham | ||
162 | case | ||
163 | duckworth | ||
164 | truly | ||
165 | is | ||
166 | a | ||
167 | jack-of-all-trades | ||
168 | the | ||
169 | only | ||
170 | thing | ||
171 | missing | ||
172 | from | ||
173 | his | ||
174 | repertoire | ||
175 | is | ||
176 | the | ||
177 | ability | ||
178 | to | ||
179 | begin | ||
180 | a | ||
181 | word | ||
182 | with | ||
183 | anything | ||
184 | but | ||
185 | an | ||
186 | r | ||
187 | sound | ||
188 | although | ||
189 | given | ||
190 | the | ||
191 | fact | ||
192 | he | ||
193 | is | ||
194 | a | ||
195 | dog | ||
196 | it's | ||
197 | remarkable | ||
198 | he | ||
199 | can | ||
200 | speak | ||
201 | at | ||
202 | all | ||
203 | duckworth | ||
204 | was | ||
205 | voiced | ||
206 | by | ||
207 | don | ||
208 | messick | ||
209 | until | ||
210 | his | ||
211 | death | ||
212 | in | ||
213 | 1997 | ||
214 | when | ||
215 | frank | ||
216 | welker | ||
217 | took | ||
218 | over | ||
219 | to | ||
220 | the | ||
221 | dismay | ||
222 | of | ||
223 | fans | ||
224 | everywhere | ||