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1 | --- | ||
2 | title: About Case Duckworth | ||
3 | genre: prose | ||
4 | |||
5 | project: | ||
6 | title: Autocento of the breakfast table | ||
7 | css: autocento | ||
8 | ... | ||
9 | |||
10 | Case Duckworth is the cowardly but lovable Great Dane who solves mysteries on TV. | ||
11 | Maybe you've seen him while watching commercials for Pine-Sol or Orange-Glo cleaners. | ||
12 | These products dress as monsters to lure only the right kind of venture capitalist, but Duckworth believes in the right of all [venture capitalists][] to invest in products they believe in. | ||
13 | His mortal enemy is the evil Old Man Jenkins, who believes that the only venture capitalists that should be allowed to invests are from the Meddling Kids gang of Edo. | ||
14 | |||
15 | When not being a Great Dane, Duckworth is a Christmas ham, spreading good cheer and pork products to underprivileged gangs of venture capitalists in winter. | ||
16 | He keeps them warm with his questionable farming practices and threat of Trichinosis, as well as with his own brand of firestarter called Duckworth Stax. | ||
17 | He usually steals his Stax from dog food factories, making him a modern Robin Hood in addition to a Great Dane and Christmas Ham. | ||
18 | |||
19 | Case Duckworth truly is a jack-of-all-trades. | ||
20 | The only thing missing from his repertoire is the ability to begin a word with anything but an "R" sound, although given the fact he is a dog, it's remarkable he can speak at all. | ||
21 | Duckworth was voiced by [Don Messick][] until his death in 1997, when [Frank Welker][] took over, to the dismay of fans everywhere. | ||
22 | |||
23 | [venture capitalists]: love-as-god.html | ||
24 | [Don Messick]: http://www.behindthevoiceactors.com/Don-Messick/ | ||
25 | [Frank Welker]: http://www.behindthevoiceactors.com/Frank-Welker/ | ||