From e0b1c2737397839ff5ba8c129d31baf6f97805fe Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Case Duckworth Date: Sat, 31 Jan 2015 13:10:17 -0700 Subject: Finish linking Elegy, Hezekiah; Rename files --- 98-hez-likingthings.txt | 52 ------------------------------------------------- 1 file changed, 52 deletions(-) delete mode 100644 98-hez-likingthings.txt (limited to '98-hez-likingthings.txt') diff --git a/98-hez-likingthings.txt b/98-hez-likingthings.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 385ea3d..0000000 --- a/98-hez-likingthings.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,52 +0,0 @@ ---- -title: 'Liking Things' -project: 'Book of Hezekiah' -project-order: 7 -project-prev: 'problems.html' -genre: 'prose' -... - -The definition of happiness is *doing stuff that you really like*. That -stuff can be eating soup, going to the bathroom, walking the dog, -playing Dungeons and Dragons; whatever keeps your mind off the fact that -you're so goddamn unhappy all the time. That, incidentally, is the -definition of like: *that feeling you get when you forget how miserable -you are for just a little bit*. Thus people like doing stuff they like -all the time, as often as possible; because if they remember how -horrible they really feel at not having a background to put themselves -against, they will want to hurt themselves and those around them. - -The funny thing is that something we people really like to do is hurt -ourselves and those around us. We do this by thinking other people are -more unhappy than we are. We convince themselves that we are truly -happy, ecstatic even, while they merely plod around life half-heartedly, -or, if they're lucky, incorrectly. We take it upon ourselves (seeing as -we are so happy, and can spare a little bit of happiness) to help them -become happy as well. We fail to realize that the people will probably -not appreciate our thinking that we're better than they are somehow, for -that is what we do even if we don't mean it. We forget that we are also -unhappy, and that we are just doing things we like in order to cheer -ourselves up a little bit, which really means that this cheering is -working; but there is such a thing as working too well. So in a sense -what I'm doing here is cheering myself up by reminding you that you are -unhappy; I'm trying to keep you honest in your unhappiness; and I admit -this is usually called a dick move. - -In fact, the best way to overcome happy-hungering (this is the term as I -dub it) is commit as many dick moves as possible, to keep people -remembering that unhappiness abounds. If you see someone smiling like a -little dog who knows it's about to get pet or get a treat or go to the -vet to donate doggy sperm, smile back. Grin toothily (a little too -toothily for a little too long). Their smile will start to fade if -you're doing it right. Saunter to them, slide as if you're an Olympic -quality ice-skater, as if you're a really good bowler who knows he's -playing against twelve year olds and'll win by a hundred. Get really -close. Far too close for what most people would call comfort. And remind -them of how awful life can be: "I really like your [shirt][]---really only -children chained to looms can get that tight of a weave," you can say, -or "You're not really going to recycle that coffee cup, are you?" They -will probably get angry, but that's what's supposed to happen. By making -dick moves, you can overcome what may be the biggest evil on this earth: -Happy-Hungering. - -[shirt]: theoceanoverflowswithcamels.html -- cgit 1.4.1-21-gabe81