From d6231aa5524a10e543368115e1376f835aae8b58 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Case Duckworth Date: Tue, 21 Apr 2015 17:42:38 -0700 Subject: Revise after thesis defense --- in-bed.html | 6 +++--- riptide_memory.html | 4 ++-- text/in-bed.txt | 10 ++++++---- text/riptide_memory.txt | 4 ++-- text/the-night-we-met.txt | 6 +++--- the-night-we-met.html | 4 ++-- 6 files changed, 18 insertions(+), 16 deletions(-) diff --git a/in-bed.html b/in-bed.html index 79c84a0..5129092 100644 --- a/in-bed.html +++ b/in-bed.html @@ -49,7 +49,7 @@

III

-

I woke screaming and youcame to sit next to me. I feltmy eyes were open too wide

+

I woke screaming and youcame to sit next to me. I feltmy eyes were open too wide

that I could not shut themfrom the horror movie sittingon your lap in the easy chair

in the dream the other dreamin the living room underthe tree. Why do I feel guilty?

@@ -62,7 +62,7 @@

V

I sit up slowly creaking.I find myself alone buriedin an ocean. Far off

-

there is an eagle flyingtoward me. She lands onmy knee and lays an egg.

+

there is an eagle flyingtoward me. She lands onmy knee and lays an egg.

I think not this againsomething I’ve neverthought in my life.

@@ -73,7 +73,7 @@

VII

-

[You run through melike rats]rats down an alley.You are in my blood.

+

You run through melike rats down an alley.You are in my blood.

You scared me onceremember? Jumped outof the bathroom door.

I fell screaming ontothe linoleum. Did youapologize? Did you need to?

diff --git a/riptide_memory.html b/riptide_memory.html index 41b847a..e865c37 100644 --- a/riptide_memory.html +++ b/riptide_memory.html @@ -37,10 +37,10 @@

Inside of my memory, the poem is another memory.The air up here is thin, but the wind blows harderthan anywhere else I know. It threatens to ripmy body away, like an angel of death, to the stars.

In Arizona, I thought I would forget the rain,forget its sound on a roof like a hard wind, forgetits smell like a far away ocean. Luckily for meit rains here. Luckily, because I forget too easily.

-

In a dream, my father is caught by a riptide off-shore.He’s pulled far out, far enough that the shoreline’sa line in his memory on the horizon. I can see himswimming, hand over hand, pulling his small weight

+

In a dream, my father is caught by a riptide off-shore.He’s pulled far out, far enough that the shoreline’sa dim line in his memory on the horizon. I can see himswimming, hand over hand, pulling his small weight

back to land. I see him as another shipwreck victim,coughing sand and seawater, beard woven with seaweed.I see him lying there a long time. I see all thisas he tells me the story, years later, the riptide

only a ghost in his memory, I only a child fallingasleep. My mother’s making mayonnaise rollsin the kitchen, a recipe I’ll send for years later,in Arizona, in the monsoon season, when my thirst

-

pulls me back home, my memory’s lonesome twinklelike stars above the mountains. I’ll send for itand try to make them, but in the thin air they’llcrumble into dust like desert air, like a memory.

+

pulls me back home, my memory’s lonesome twinklelike stars above the mountains. I’ll send for itand try to make them, but at this altitude they’llcrumble into dust like desert air, like a memory.

diff --git a/text/in-bed.txt b/text/in-bed.txt index b7be002..dc3e270 100644 --- a/text/in-bed.txt +++ b/text/in-bed.txt @@ -40,7 +40,7 @@ project: ## III -| I woke screaming and you +| I [woke screaming][] and you | came to sit next to me. I felt | my eyes were open too wide @@ -75,7 +75,7 @@ project: | [there is an eagle][] flying | toward me. She lands on -| my knee and lays an egg. +| [my knee and lays an egg][]. | I think *not this again* | something I've never @@ -98,8 +98,8 @@ project: ## VII -| [You run through me -| like rats][rats] down an alley. +| You run through me +| [like rats][rats] down an alley. | You are in my [blood][]. | You scared me once @@ -142,6 +142,7 @@ project: [I see my reflection is headless]: deathstrumpet.html [and the moon grins down]: moon-drowning.html [rot only for us]: options.html +[woke screaming]: worse-looking-over.html [closed over me like an eyelid]: theoceanoverflowswithcamels.html [in an ocean]: the-sea_the-beach.html [there is an eagle]: mountain.html @@ -149,3 +150,4 @@ project: [rats]: #I [blood]: plant.html [red]: window.html +[my knee and lays an egg]: http://www.sacred-texts.com/neu/kveng/kvrune01.htm diff --git a/text/riptide_memory.txt b/text/riptide_memory.txt index 177a586..9f5ebe0 100644 --- a/text/riptide_memory.txt +++ b/text/riptide_memory.txt @@ -33,7 +33,7 @@ project: | In a dream, [my father is caught by a riptide][] off-shore. | He's pulled far out, far enough that the shoreline's -| a line in his [memory][] on the horizon. I can see him +| a dim line in his [memory][] on the horizon. I can see him | swimming, hand over hand, pulling his small weight | back to land. I see him as [another shipwreck][] victim, @@ -48,7 +48,7 @@ project: | pulls me back home, my memory's lonesome twinkle | like [stars above the mountains][]. I'll send for it -| and try to make them, but in the thin air they'll +| and try to make them, but at this altitude they'll | crumble into dust like desert air, like a memory. [an angel of death]: angeltoabraham.html diff --git a/text/the-night-we-met.txt b/text/the-night-we-met.txt index aa6d89c..16987bb 100644 --- a/text/the-night-we-met.txt +++ b/text/the-night-we-met.txt @@ -17,13 +17,13 @@ project: | in the dark, remember? You told me time was | pregnant with all things. I should've said -| something, to draw you out from your place +| something, to draw you out from your safety | in the dark. Remember, you told me time was | only an illusion, [and memory was][] only -| something to draw. You, out from your place, +| something to draw. You, out from your safety, | I out from mine, that night, I believed in you. -| Only illusion and memory were one, lying +| And illusion and memory were one, lying | [down on your couch][], through the night you drew | me out from mine. That night, I believed in you diff --git a/the-night-we-met.html b/the-night-we-met.html index 4b89f30..dde8d7b 100644 --- a/the-night-we-met.html +++ b/the-night-we-met.html @@ -36,8 +36,8 @@

My head is full of fire, my tongue swollen,pregnant with all the things I should’ve saidbut didn’t. Last night, we met each otherin the dark, remember? You told me time was

-

pregnant with all things. I should’ve saidsomething, to draw you out from your placein the dark. Remember, you told me time wasonly an illusion, and memory was only

-

something to draw. You, out from your place,I out from mine, that night, I believed in you.Only illusion and memory were one, lyingdown on your couch, through the night you drew

+

pregnant with all things. I should’ve saidsomething, to draw you out from your safetyin the dark. Remember, you told me time wasonly an illusion, and memory was only

+

something to draw. You, out from your safety,I out from mine, that night, I believed in you.And illusion and memory were one, lyingdown on your couch, through the night you drew

me out from mine. That night, I believed in youwhen you told me you loved me. I laydown on your couch. Through the night, you drewa picture of our future together.

When you told me you loved me, I liedin the dark. Remember, you told me time wasa picture of our future together.My head is full of fire, my tongue swollen.

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