Creation myth
@@ -32,12 +33,13 @@So two hyperintelligent pandimensional beings
walk into a bar. One turns to the other and says,
“Did you remember to check the end state
of that simulation we were running?” The other
says, “No, I thought that you did?” To which
the first replies, “Oh shit, we missed it.
I suppose we must do all of this again. Barkeep,
two beers please." The bartender nods in that way
that bartenders do, pours the two beers,
expertly, by the way, just so, and hands them
to the first hyperintelligent pandimensional being.
The second one pulls a few singles out of his
wallet, places them on the bar, and the pair
turn around and begin walking toward a table
in the middle of the mostly-empty bar. The bar-
tender picks up the money, fans it out, frowns,
and calls to his patrons’ backs: “Hey, this
isn’t enough!” The two turn around simultan-
eously, with parity, and stare at him. A beat.
One of them, the one without the beer, breaks
the silence by exclaiming, “Oh dear god, I’m
sorry! I didn’t know your prices went up since
last time. What do I owe you?” The bartender
says, “Oh, just another dollar-fifty.” The being
reaches in his back pocket, slides out his
wallet, looks in smiling, and frowns when he sees
it’s empty. He looks to the other and says,
“You got a buck-fifty I can borrow?”
The second hyperintelligent pandimensional being
considers this. He sets the beers down
on the table, pulls out his own wallet, opens
it, and frowns. “I’m broke too,” he says.
So two hyperintelligent pandimensional beings
walk into a bar. One turns to the other and says,
“Did you remember to check the end state
of that simulation we were running?” The other
says, “No, I thought that you did?” To which
the first replies, “Oh shit, we missed it.
I suppose we must do all of this again. Barkeep,
two beers please." The bartender nods in that way
that bartenders do, pours the two beers,
expertly, by the way, just so, and hands them
to the first hyperintelligent pandimensional being.
The second one pulls a few singles out of his
wallet, places them on the bar, and the pair
turn around and begin walking toward a table
in the middle of the mostly-empty bar. The bar-
tender picks up the money, fans it out, frowns,
and calls to his patrons’ backs: “Hey, this
isn’t enough!” The two turn around simultan-
eously, with parity, and stare at him. A beat.
One of them, the one without the beer, breaks
the silence by exclaiming, “Oh dear god, I’m
sorry! I didn’t know your prices went up since
last time. What do I owe you?” The bartender
says, “Oh, just another dollar-fifty.” The being
reaches in his back pocket, slides out his
wallet, looks in smiling, and frowns when he sees
it’s empty. He looks to the other and says,
“You got a buck-fifty I can borrow?”
The second hyperintelligent pandimensional being
considers this. He sets the beers down
on the table, pulls out his own wallet, opens
it, and frowns. “I’m broke too,” he says.