From d6231aa5524a10e543368115e1376f835aae8b58 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Case Duckworth
Date: Tue, 21 Apr 2015 17:42:38 -0700
Subject: Revise after thesis defense

---
 text/riptide_memory.txt | 4 ++--
 1 file changed, 2 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-)

(limited to 'text/riptide_memory.txt')

diff --git a/text/riptide_memory.txt b/text/riptide_memory.txt
index 177a586..9f5ebe0 100644
--- a/text/riptide_memory.txt
+++ b/text/riptide_memory.txt
@@ -33,7 +33,7 @@ project:
 
 | In a dream, [my father is caught by a riptide][] off-shore.
 | He's pulled far out, far enough that the shoreline's
-| a line in his [memory][] on the horizon.  I can see him
+| a dim line in his [memory][] on the horizon.  I can see him
 | swimming, hand over hand, pulling his small weight
 
 | back to land.  I see him as [another shipwreck][] victim,
@@ -48,7 +48,7 @@ project:
 
 | pulls me back home, my memory's lonesome twinkle
 | like [stars above the mountains][].  I'll send for it
-| and try to make them, but in the thin air they'll
+| and try to make them, but at this altitude they'll
 | crumble into dust like desert air, like a memory.
 
 [an angel of death]: angeltoabraham.html
-- 
cgit 1.4.1-21-gabe81