---
title: 'I am'
project: 'Elegies for Alternate Selves'
...

I am a great pillar of [white smoke][].  \
I am Lot's nameless wife encased in salt.  \
I am the wound on Christ's back as he moans \
with the pounding of a hammer on his wrist.  \
I am the nail that holds my house together.  \
It is a strong house, built on a good foundation.  \
In the winter, it is warm and crawling things \
cannot get in.  This house will never burn down.  \
It is the house that I built, with my body \
and with my strength.  I am the only one who lives \
here.  I am both father and mother to a race \
of dust motes that worship me as a god.  I have \
monuments built daily in my honor in dark \
corners around the house.  I destroy all of them \
before I go to bed, but in the morning \
there are still more.  I don't think I know \
where all of them are.  I [don't think][not think] I can get \
to all of them anymore.  There are too many.

[white smoke]: 43-deathstrumpet.html
[not think]: 22-howithappened.html