---
title: Exasperated
id: exasperated
genre: verse

project:
    title: Stark Raving
    class: stark
    order: 8
    next:
    - title: The Death Zone
      link: death-zone
    - title: Boy on the bus
      link: boy_bus
    prev:
    - title: AMBER alert
      link: amber-alert
    - title: The Death Zone
      link: death-zone
...

I didn't write this sestina yesterday.  \
It's the first time I fell behind in my task \
and hopefully, the only time it will.  \
This means that today I must write two \
sestinas.  If I don't write them today, I \
will have to write two later down the line.

Although I feel I'm slogging through each line \
I think I'm doing better every day, \
though maybe this is wishful thinking: I \
showed my friend my just-completed task \
two days ago (my God, was it two \
entire days?  I've no idea what I'll

do [after thirty-nine days][].  I think I'll \
feel like [Inigo Montoya][], who'd been in the line \
of revenging for so long, he didn't know what to \
do with the rest of his life), and he deigned \
to be polite, but I could tell the task \
was hard for him.  He told me finally that I

had made a noble effort, but that ultimately I \
failed.  [So my question][]: when will \
I be a decent sestina writer?  For this is my task.  \
Maybe if I just keep cranking out line after line \
I'll finally figure it out.  Maybe one more day \
or another week will do it, or maybe I'll need two,

or maybe it'll never happen.  Maybe a sestina's too \
involved, too much [weaving][] of words too fine, and I \
will never write a good one, even on my best day, \
even if I employ all my skill and all my will.  \
I'm not used to writing poems with thirty-nine lines, \
that must be the problem, must be why this task

is Herculean.  He only had to finish twelve tasks, \
and I have one less one thousand, five hundred twenty-two, \
and it's nothing but complaining lines \
about [how hard it is to be a person][].  I \
am getting sick of myself with these poems, and will \
soon be loathe to get out of bed every day.

But I tasked myself with this, which may be the worst I \
ever do to myself.  I thought a poem NaNoWriMo would \
be fun, would line my resume, give me something I could publish someday.

[after thirty-nine days]: http://biblehub.com/2_corinthians/11-24.htm
[Inigo Montoya]: death-zone.html
[So my question]: question.html
[weaving]: tapestry.html
[how hard it is to be a person]: deathstrumpet.html