---
title: In bed
genre: verse

project:
    title: Autocento of the breakfast table
    css: autocento
...

## I

I hear [the rats][] run \
in the walls like water \
through a tree.  My blood

thickens.  As I dream \
the masturbation dream \
the shelf above my bed

falls covering me in \
dirt and decaying beetles.  \
[I see my reflection is headless][].

## II

When the waves stop \
[and the moon grins down][] \
to overtake me: the car

ran up the street that night \
when you were nearly \
molested in your neighbor's house:

is this why we don't have \
neighbors?  For this the trees \
[rot only for us][]?

## III

I woke screaming and you \
came to sit next to me.  I felt \
my eyes were open too wide

that I could not shut them \
from the horror movie sitting \
on your lap in the easy chair

in the dream the other dream \
in the living room under \
the tree.  Why do I feel guilty?


## IV

I wake up in a pool of water \
[closed over me like an eyelid][].  \
There is no longer comfort

in staring at the ceiling.  \
Its pitch blackness beckons \
into a future of blankness.

My body lay still quaking.  \
My mind is chained fast \
to the beating of my heart.

## V

I sit up slowly creaking.  \
I find myself alone buried \
[in an ocean][].  Far off

[there is an eagle][] flying \
toward me.  She lands on \
my knee and lays an egg.

I think *not this again* \
something I've never \
thought in my life.

## VI

I think *not this again* \
something I've never \
thought in my life.  Not

after losing my car keys \
in the easy chair.  Not after \
scratching myself on a branch.

Not after finding the thing \
in your dresser drawer that \
night.  [I remember you suddenly.][]


## VII

[You run through me \
like rats][rats] down an alley. \
You are in my [blood][].

You scared me once \
remember?  Jumped out \
of the bathroom door.

I fell screaming onto \
the linoleum.  Did you \
apologize?  Did you need to?

## VIII

The ocean that surrounds me \
creaks like a rocking \
cradle.  Your face bright

as the moon at eclipse \
and as [red][].  Low song \
my tide stretching

to the horizon.  Ripples \
on the surface belie \
something bigger beneath.

## IX

In bed I am alone for \
the only time.  In bed \
I am a grown man.

Below the blankets I \
know you for who you are.  \
In bed I see your face

pressed against the window.  \
I look out and see you \
and I am not afraid.

[the rats]: last-bastion.html
[I see my reflection is headless]: deathstrumpet.html
[and the moon grins down]: moon-drowning.html
[rot only for us]: options.html
[closed over me like an eyelid]: theoceanoverflowswithcamels.html
[in an ocean]: the-sea_the-beach.html
[there is an eagle]: mountain.html
[I remember you suddenly.]: ouroboros_memory.html
[rats]: #I
[blood]: plant.html
[red]: window.html