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-rw-r--r--.comments/jane-comments-2.txt93
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diff --git a/.comments/jane-comments-1.txt b/.comments/jane-comments-1.txt index 27764a5..a53e503 100644 --- a/.comments/jane-comments-1.txt +++ b/.comments/jane-comments-1.txt
@@ -1,2 +1,29 @@
1I have been reading your "autocento" for many days now and have delights and frustrations to report. As for delights, the "articles" themselves are generally engaging, enlightening and challenging and indicative of the poet's capacious imagination and broad range of knowledge and interests from the esoteric to the quotidian. The autocento as an object itself is fun to play as the reader explores an infinite number of combinations and connections. Just as themes and motifs start to cohere-- the moon, mirroring, death, the sea, love, modes of communication-- they just as quickly effervesce as another link takes us along another twisted path. That quality is a strength, but it is also a drawback, I fear. At times I feel like I was lost in a Borgesian library of everything with no escape in sight. This was not an altogether pleasant sensation. I'm not necessarily arguing for changing anything, but I would like the project at some point to be more clear about itself and what it expects of the reader. Even though you do assert the loosey-goosey nature of the thing, readers expect to feel like they are making progress, that there is a finish to a project, an end point of some sort. I was interested in the way that your project fundamentally questions the beginning-middle-end assumptions that are traditionally brought to bear upon literary productions of all kinds, but I wanted the text itself to be aware of the ultimate tediousness that comes from infinite possibilities due to lack of authorial or editorial selection. Alternatively, a table of contents that actually looks like and functions like a table of contents (i.e. these are the titles of the things you will find in this book) might be reassuring. After awhile, after reading for many days, I became weary of finding a new "article." I wanted the comfort of a controlling consciousness, not more manifestations of "what my head looks like on the inside" that exist outside of a compelling argument regarding why that is a worthwhile pursuit for the reader ad infinitum. You need a site map!!! 1I have been reading your "autocento" for many days now and have delights and
2frustrations to report. As for delights, the "articles" themselves are
3generally engaging, enlightening and challenging and indicative of the poet's
4capacious imagination and broad range of knowledge and interests from the
5esoteric to the quotidian. The autocento as an object itself is fun to play as
6the reader explores an infinite number of combinations and connections. Just as
7themes and motifs start to cohere-- the moon, mirroring, death, the sea, love,
8modes of communication-- they just as quickly effervesce as another link takes
9us along another twisted path. That quality is a strength, but it is also
10a drawback, I fear. At times I feel like I was lost in a Borgesian library of
11everything with no escape in sight. This was not an altogether pleasant
12sensation. I'm not necessarily arguing for changing anything, but I would like
13the project at some point to be more clear about itself and what it expects of
14the reader. Even though you do assert the loosey-goosey nature of the thing,
15readers expect to feel like they are making progress, that there is a finish to
16a project, an end point of some sort. I was interested in the way that your
17project fundamentally questions the beginning-middle-end assumptions that are
18traditionally brought to bear upon literary productions of all kinds, but
19I wanted the text itself to be aware of the ultimate tediousness that comes
20from infinite possibilities due to lack of authorial or editorial selection.
21Alternatively, a table of contents that actually looks like and functions like
22a table of contents (i.e. these are the titles of the things you will find in
23this book) might be reassuring. After awhile, after reading for many days,
24I became weary of finding a new "article." I wanted the comfort of
25a controlling consciousness, not more manifestations of "what my head looks
26like on the inside" that exist outside of a compelling argument regarding why
27that is a worthwhile pursuit for the reader ad infinitum. You need a site
28map!!!
2 29
diff --git a/.comments/jane-comments-2.txt b/.comments/jane-comments-2.txt index b03d841..d7b966b 100644 --- a/.comments/jane-comments-2.txt +++ b/.comments/jane-comments-2.txt
@@ -1,38 +1,65 @@
1Case 1Case Intro define n-gram
2Intro define n-gram
3 2
4+++ 3+++ We float on an ocean of language which we did nothing to create, and the
5We float on an ocean of language which we did nothing to create, and the best we can hope for is to find some combination that hasn’t been thought of too many times before. As Solomon said, “There is nothing new under the sun.” 4best we can hope for is to find some combination that hasn’t been thought of
5too many times before. As Solomon said, “There is nothing new under the sun.”
6 6
7work remains to be done for me to consider it fully “published” (what does this word mean in 2015? 7work remains to be done for me to consider it fully “published” (what does this
8word mean in 2015?
8 9
9I love Treatise 10I love Treatise
10 11
11Cool: A poem is like a snapshot of a self. If it’s any good, it captures the emotional core of the self at the time of writing for communication with future selves, either within the same person or outside of it. Thus revision is possible, and the new poem created will be yet another snapshot of the future self as changed by the original poem. The page becomes a window into the past, a particular past as experienced by one self. The poem is a remembering of a self that no longer exists, in other words, an elegy. 12Cool: A poem is like a snapshot of a self. If it’s any good, it captures the
12--- 13emotional core of the self at the time of writing for communication with future
13Is your project related to Julia Kristeva's work on intertextuality? 14selves, either within the same person or outside of it. Thus revision is
14 15possible, and the new poem created will be yet another snapshot of the future
15Autocento of the breakfast table works within the tension caused by these two concepts. Which two concepts? I don't see tension between the concepts. I see complicity as the n-gram can be constantly made available as fodder for the cento, right? 16self as changed by the original poem. The page becomes a window into the past,
16 17a particular past as experienced by one self. The poem is a remembering of
17This should give the reader a fair idea of what my head looks like on the inside. Perhaps you should explain why readers might want to do this. What is the value of being inside your head? Could it perhaps help us to understand other heads? 18a self that no longer exists, in other words, an elegy. --- Is your project
18 19related to Julia Kristeva's work on intertextuality?
19So then, extending your argument, all written text is cento? How is your argument not obvious, just a restatement of the way of things, the way we use extant words to create meaning? 20
20 21Autocento of the breakfast table works within the tension caused by these two
21Define "article" in the text the first time you use it. I'm growing weary of seeing crucial information footnoted as if this is clever. 22concepts. Which two concepts? I don't see tension between the concepts. I see
22 23complicity as the n-gram can be constantly made available as fodder for the
23Could "article" become "item" as there is already a written thing known as "Article" 24cento, right?
24 25
25The project in many ways is more interesting than your intro to it. What can you say about how playing the piece affects the meaning of the articles? Does the project force readers to construct cento are the poems ever finished (by reader not ever making it to the end or, alternatively, failing to make the article new by riding a link to another article?) 26This should give the reader a fair idea of what my head looks like on the
26 27inside. Perhaps you should explain why readers might want to do this. What is
27Perhaps provide some sense of how many articles the reader can encounter. Alternatively, make it clear that the project will never finish and that this is purposeful and consistent will your underlying theory of text generation. 28the value of being inside your head? Could it perhaps help us to understand
29other heads?
30
31So then, extending your argument, all written text is cento? How is your
32argument not obvious, just a restatement of the way of things, the way we use
33extant words to create meaning?
34
35Define "article" in the text the first time you use it. I'm growing weary of
36seeing crucial information footnoted as if this is clever.
37
38Could "article" become "item" as there is already a written thing known as
39"Article"
40
41The project in many ways is more interesting than your intro to it. What can
42you say about how playing the piece affects the meaning of the articles? Does
43the project force readers to construct cento are the poems ever finished (by
44reader not ever making it to the end or, alternatively, failing to make the
45article new by riding a link to another article?)
46
47Perhaps provide some sense of how many articles the reader can encounter.
48Alternatively, make it clear that the project will never finish and that this
49is purposeful and consistent will your underlying theory of text generation.
28 50
29Riptide of Memory "laying" is "lying" 51Riptide of Memory "laying" is "lying"
30 52
31The person I am beginning a poem is a separate being than the one I am finishing a poem, and part of it is the poem I’ve written has brought forth some other dish onto the great table that is myself. Good idea. Revise sentence. 53The person I am beginning a poem is a separate being than the one I am
54finishing a poem, and part of it is the poem I’ve written has brought forth
55some other dish onto the great table that is myself. Good idea. Revise
56sentence.
32 57
33In the same way, with each poem you read of this, you too could become a different person. Cf Donald Barthelme, "After Joyce" 58In the same way, with each poem you read of this, you too could become
59a different person. Cf Donald Barthelme, "After Joyce"
34 60
35I think writing is a communication of the self, and I think this is the best way to communicate mine in all its multiversity. REVISE out the "I think" 61I think writing is a communication of the self, and I think this is the best
62way to communicate mine in all its multiversity. REVISE out the "I think"
36 63
37We Played Those Games Too-- other's'. Chords = cords (vocal cords) 64We Played Those Games Too-- other's'. Chords = cords (vocal cords)
38 65
@@ -43,17 +70,22 @@ I like Death's Trumpet & the epigraph
43Love it in Spittle: I want to kiss the world to make it mine. I want to become 70Love it in Spittle: I want to kiss the world to make it mine. I want to become
44a Judas to reality, betray it with the wetness of emotion. 71a Judas to reality, betray it with the wetness of emotion.
45 72
46Love Song is wonderful! " There is no art because there is no mirror big enough." 73Love Song is wonderful! " There is no art because there is no mirror big
74enough."
47 75
48"Ronald McDonald" seems to undercut your premise of the constantly mutable self 76"Ronald McDonald" seems to undercut your premise of the constantly mutable self
49 77
50Shipwright-- I appreciate the maturity of this poem, the range of references displays in a short poem 78Shipwright-- I appreciate the maturity of this poem, the range of references
79displays in a short poem
51 80
52Apollo 11 poem blew me away! 81Apollo 11 poem blew me away!
53 82
54Ars poetica. Poetry as crime is nice, but the piece could be more elegant & cohesive-- seawater, bullion, soup, vanilla. The reader/they 83Ars poetica. Poetry as crime is nice, but the piece could be more elegant
84& cohesive-- seawater, bullion, soup, vanilla. The reader/they
55 85
56I wonder how Problems and Liking Things would play without the context of this collection-- boring? Unearned? Words to live by: By making dick moves, you can overcome what may be the biggest evil on this earth: Happy-Hungering. 86I wonder how Problems and Liking Things would play without the context of this
87collection-- boring? Unearned? Words to live by: By making dick moves, you
88can overcome what may be the biggest evil on this earth: Happy-Hungering.
57 89
5816th Chapel. Change to "for whom I know he'll buy a Rolls" 9016th Chapel. Change to "for whom I know he'll buy a Rolls"
59 91
@@ -61,4 +93,5 @@ Riptide of Memory "laying" is "lying"
61 93
62OUROBOROS OF MEMORY. They seem to HAVE forgotten 94OUROBOROS OF MEMORY. They seem to HAVE forgotten
63 95
64My reading: after awhile there's so much of it that none of it has meaning-- is this intended? 96My reading: after awhile there's so much of it that none of it has meaning--
97is this intended?