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-title: 'Liking Things'
-project: 'Book of Hezekiah'
-project-order: 7
-project-prev: 'problems.html'
-genre: 'prose'
-...
-
-The definition of happiness is *doing stuff that you really like*.  That
-stuff can be eating soup, going to the bathroom, walking the dog,
-playing Dungeons and Dragons; whatever keeps your mind off the fact that
-you're so goddamn unhappy all the time.  That, incidentally, is the
-definition of like: *that feeling you get when you forget how miserable
-you are for just a little bit*.  Thus people like doing stuff they like
-all the time, as often as possible; because if they remember how
-horrible they really feel at not having a background to put themselves
-against, they will want to hurt themselves and those around them.
-
-The funny thing is that something we people really like to do is hurt
-ourselves and those around us.  We do this by thinking other people are
-more unhappy than we are.  We convince themselves that we are truly
-happy, ecstatic even, while they merely plod around life half-heartedly,
-or, if they're lucky, incorrectly.  We take it upon ourselves (seeing as
-we are so happy, and can spare a little bit of happiness) to help them
-become happy as well.  We fail to realize that the people will probably
-not appreciate our thinking that we're better than they are somehow, for
-that is what we do even if we don't mean it.  We forget that we are also
-unhappy, and that we are just doing things we like in order to cheer
-ourselves up a little bit, which really means that this cheering is
-working; but there is such a thing as working too well.  So in a sense
-what I'm doing here is cheering myself up by reminding you that you are
-unhappy; I'm trying to keep you honest in your unhappiness; and I admit
-this is usually called a dick move.
-
-In fact, the best way to overcome happy-hungering (this is the term as I
-dub it) is commit as many dick moves as possible, to keep people
-remembering that unhappiness abounds.  If you see someone smiling like a
-little dog who knows it's about to get pet or get a treat or go to the
-vet to donate doggy sperm, smile back.  Grin toothily (a little too
-toothily for a little too long).  Their smile will start to fade if
-you're doing it right.  Saunter to them, slide as if you're an Olympic
-quality ice-skater, as if you're a really good bowler who knows he's
-playing against twelve year olds and'll win by a hundred.  Get really
-close.  Far too close for what most people would call comfort.  And remind
-them of how awful life can be: "I really like your [shirt][]---really only
-children chained to looms can get that tight of a weave," you can say,
-or "You're not really going to recycle that coffee cup, are you?"  They
-will probably get angry, but that's what's supposed to happen.  By making
-dick moves, you can overcome what may be the biggest evil on this earth:
-Happy-Hungering.
-
-[shirt]: theoceanoverflowswithcamels.html