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1---
2title: 'Problems'
3project: 'Book of Hezekiah'
4project-order: 6
5project-prev: 'movingsideways.html'
6project-next: 'likingthings.html'
7genre: 'prose'
8...
9
10The problem with people is this: we cannot be happy. No matter how hard
11or easy we try, it is not to be. It seems sometimes that, just as the
12dog was made for jumping in mud and sniffing out foxholes and having a
13good time all around, man was made for sadness, loneliness and
14heartache.
15
16Being the observant and judgmental people they are, people have for a
17long time tried to figure out why they aren't happy. Some say it's
18because we're obviously doing something wrong. Some say it's because we
19think too much. Some insist that it's because other people have more
20stuff than we do. These people don't have a clue any more than any of
21the rest of us. At least I don't think they do, and that's good enough
22for me.[^1] I think that the reason why people are unhappy (and this is
23a personal opinion) is that they realize on some level (for some it's a
24pretty shallow level, others it's way down there next to their love for
25women's stockings[^2]) that there is no background to put themselves
26against, no "[big picture][]" to get painted into. This makes sense, because
27on one level, the level of everyday life, the level of *observation*,
28there is always a background---look in a pair of binoculars sometime. But
29on another level, that of ... shit, wait. There are no other levels.[^3]
30
31What's more, people try to explain how to get happy again (although it's
32doubtful they were ever happy in the first place---people are very good at
33fooling). Some say standing or [sitting in a building][] with a lot of other
34unhappy people helps. Some say that you can't stop there; you also need
35to sing with those other unhappy people about how unhappy you are, and
36how you wish someone would come along and help you out, I guess by
37giving you money or something. I say all you really need to be happy is
38a good stiff drink.[^4]
39
40In any case, people have for some reason or another, and to some end or
41another, always been unhappy. And people have always tried to figure out
42ways to be less unhappy---one of the most important things to people
43everywhere is called "the pursuit of happiness." I think that calling it
44a pursuit makes people feel more like dogs, who are the most happy
45beings most people can think of. By pursuing happiness, they're like a
46dog pursuing a possum or a bone on a fishing rod: two activities that
47sound like a lot of fun to most people. I think most people wish they
48were dogs.
49
50[big picture]: ronaldmcdonald.html
51[sitting in a buiding]: feedingtheraven.html
52
53
54[^1]: This seems to be an attempt on Hezzy's part to set an example for
55 mankind. It should be noted that he is an alcoholic, and not in any
56 shape to be an example to anyone.
57
58[^2]: It is thought that only the leg coverings of the female sex are
59 here referenced
60
61[^3]: You have hereby found the super special secret cheat code room.
62 Yes, this is just like Super Mario Brothers---you can skip right to
63 the end. Go and face the final boss already!
64
65[^4]: See footnote, above