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1---
2title: Exasperated
3genre: verse
4
5id: exasperated
6toc: "Exasperated"
7
8project:
9 title: Stark Raving
10 class: stark
11 order: 8
12 next:
13 - title: The Death Zone
14 link: death-zone
15 - title: Boy on the bus
16 link: boy_bus
17 prev:
18 - title: AMBER alert
19 link: amber-alert
20 - title: The Death Zone
21 link: death-zone
22...
23
24| I didn't write this sestina yesterday.
25| It's the first time I fell behind in my task
26| and hopefully, the only time it will.
27| This means that today I must write two
28| sestinas. If I don't write them today, I
29| will have to write two later down the line.
30
31| Although I feel I'm slogging through each line
32| I think I'm doing better every day,
33| though maybe this is wishful thinking: I
34| showed my friend my just-completed task
35| two days ago (my God, was it two
36| entire days? I've no idea what I'll
37
38| do [after thirty-nine days][]. I think I'll
39| feel like [Inigo Montoya][], who'd been in the line
40| of revenging for so long, he didn't know what to
41| do with the rest of his life), and he deigned
42| to be polite, but I could tell the task
43| was hard for him. He told me finally that I
44
45| had made a noble effort, but that ultimately I
46| failed. [So my question][]: when will
47| I be a decent sestina writer? For this is my task.
48| Maybe if I just keep cranking out line after line
49| I'll finally figure it out. Maybe one more day
50| or another week will do it, or maybe I'll need two,
51
52| or maybe it'll never happen. Maybe a sestina's too
53| involved, too much [weaving][] of words too fine, and I
54| will never write a good one, even on my best day,
55| even if I employ all my skill and all my will.
56| I'm not used to writing poems with thirty-nine lines,
57| that must be the problem, must be why this task
58
59| is Herculean. He only had to finish twelve tasks,
60| and I have one less one thousand, five hundred twenty-two,
61| and it's nothing but complaining lines
62| about [how hard it is to be a person][]. I
63| am getting sick of myself with these poems, and will
64| soon be loathe to get out of bed every day.
65
66| But I tasked myself with this, which may be the worst I
67| ever do to myself. I thought a poem NaNoWriMo would
68| be fun, would line my resume, give me something I could publish someday.
69
70[after thirty-nine days]: http://biblehub.com/2_corinthians/11-24.htm
71[Inigo Montoya]: death-zone.html
72[So my question]: question.html
73[weaving]: tapestry.html
74[how hard it is to be a person]: deathstrumpet.html