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1 | --- | ||
2 | title: Exasperated | ||
3 | genre: verse | ||
4 | |||
5 | id: exasperated | ||
6 | toc: "Exasperated" | ||
7 | |||
8 | project: | ||
9 | title: Stark Raving | ||
10 | class: stark | ||
11 | order: 8 | ||
12 | next: | ||
13 | - title: The Death Zone | ||
14 | link: death-zone | ||
15 | - title: Boy on the bus | ||
16 | link: boy_bus | ||
17 | prev: | ||
18 | - title: AMBER alert | ||
19 | link: amber-alert | ||
20 | - title: The Death Zone | ||
21 | link: death-zone | ||
22 | ... | ||
23 | |||
24 | | I didn't write this sestina yesterday. | ||
25 | | It's the first time I fell behind in my task | ||
26 | | and hopefully, the only time it will. | ||
27 | | This means that today I must write two | ||
28 | | sestinas. If I don't write them today, I | ||
29 | | will have to write two later down the line. | ||
30 | |||
31 | | Although I feel I'm slogging through each line | ||
32 | | I think I'm doing better every day, | ||
33 | | though maybe this is wishful thinking: I | ||
34 | | showed my friend my just-completed task | ||
35 | | two days ago (my God, was it two | ||
36 | | entire days? I've no idea what I'll | ||
37 | |||
38 | | do [after thirty-nine days][]. I think I'll | ||
39 | | feel like [Inigo Montoya][], who'd been in the line | ||
40 | | of revenging for so long, he didn't know what to | ||
41 | | do with the rest of his life), and he deigned | ||
42 | | to be polite, but I could tell the task | ||
43 | | was hard for him. He told me finally that I | ||
44 | |||
45 | | had made a noble effort, but that ultimately I | ||
46 | | failed. [So my question][]: when will | ||
47 | | I be a decent sestina writer? For this is my task. | ||
48 | | Maybe if I just keep cranking out line after line | ||
49 | | I'll finally figure it out. Maybe one more day | ||
50 | | or another week will do it, or maybe I'll need two, | ||
51 | |||
52 | | or maybe it'll never happen. Maybe a sestina's too | ||
53 | | involved, too much [weaving][] of words too fine, and I | ||
54 | | will never write a good one, even on my best day, | ||
55 | | even if I employ all my skill and all my will. | ||
56 | | I'm not used to writing poems with thirty-nine lines, | ||
57 | | that must be the problem, must be why this task | ||
58 | |||
59 | | is Herculean. He only had to finish twelve tasks, | ||
60 | | and I have one less one thousand, five hundred twenty-two, | ||
61 | | and it's nothing but complaining lines | ||
62 | | about [how hard it is to be a person][]. I | ||
63 | | am getting sick of myself with these poems, and will | ||
64 | | soon be loathe to get out of bed every day. | ||
65 | |||
66 | | But I tasked myself with this, which may be the worst I | ||
67 | | ever do to myself. I thought a poem NaNoWriMo would | ||
68 | | be fun, would line my resume, give me something I could publish someday. | ||
69 | |||
70 | [after thirty-nine days]: http://biblehub.com/2_corinthians/11-24.htm | ||
71 | [Inigo Montoya]: death-zone.html | ||
72 | [So my question]: question.html | ||
73 | [weaving]: tapestry.html | ||
74 | [how hard it is to be a person]: deathstrumpet.html | ||