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| 10 | <meta name="author" content="Case Duckworth"> | 10 | <meta name="author" content="Case Duckworth"> |
| 11 | 11 | ||
| 12 | <title>I wanted to tell you something | Autocento of the breakfast table</title> | 12 | <title>I wanted to tell you something | Autocento of the breakfast table</title> |
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| 25 | 25 | <article class="container"> | |
| 26 | <article class="container"> | 26 | <header> |
| 27 | <header> | 27 | <!-- title --> |
| 28 | <!-- title --> | 28 | <h1 class="title">I wanted to tell you something</h1> |
| 29 | <h1 class="title">I wanted to tell you something</h1> | 29 | |
| 30 | 30 | ||
| 31 | 31 | <div class="header-extra"> | |
| 32 | <div class="header-extra"> | 32 | |
| 33 | 33 | </div> | |
| 34 | </div> | 34 | </header> |
| 35 | </header> | 35 | |
| 36 | 36 | ||
| 37 | 37 | <section class="content verse"> | |
| 38 | <section class="content verse"> | 38 | <p><span class="line">I wanted to tell you something in order <a href="poetry-time.html">to</a></span><span class="line">explain the way I feel about the <a href="initial-conditions.html">Universe</a>,</span><span class="line">its workings, etc. But I couldn’t <a href="exasperated.html">yesterday</a></span><span class="line">—I’m sorry—I wanted only to <a href="ouroboros_memory.html">ball</a></span><span class="line">myself up and cry all day. It was the <a href="sixteenth-chapel.html">sixteenth</a></span><span class="line">day in a row this happened to me, and to <a href="love-as-god.html">be</a></span></p> |
| 39 | <p><span class="line">I wanted to tell you something in order <a href="poetry-time.html">to</a></span><span class="line">explain the way I feel about the <a href="initial-conditions.html">Universe</a>,</span><span class="line">its workings, etc. But I couldn’t <a href="exasperated.html">yesterday</a></span><span class="line">—I’m sorry—I wanted only to <a href="ouroboros_memory.html">ball</a></span><span class="line">myself up and cry all day. It was the <a href="sixteenth-chapel.html">sixteenth</a></span><span class="line">day in a row this happened to me, and to <a href="love-as-god.html">be</a></span></p> | 39 | <p><span class="line">more than two weeks waiting to cry is,</span><span class="line">especially when, the whole time, I wasn’t able to,</span><span class="line">absolutely horrible. It was no sweet sixteen,</span><span class="line">I’ll tell you that much. Unless at yours, the Universe</span><span class="line">kept telling you to quit having such a ball</span><span class="line">and that you should have died, like, yesterday.</span></p> |
| 40 | <p><span class="line">more than two weeks waiting to cry is,</span><span class="line">especially when, the whole time, I wasn’t able to,</span><span class="line">absolutely horrible. It was no sweet sixteen,</span><span class="line">I’ll tell you that much. Unless at yours, the Universe</span><span class="line">kept telling you to quit having such a ball</span><span class="line">and that you should have died, like, yesterday.</span></p> | 40 | <p><span class="line">At first, it feels like you’re winning—that yesterday</span><span class="line">you really were meant to die, but since you still <em>are</em>,</span><span class="line">you beat the system somehow. But the Universe bawls,</span><span class="line">“No, I meant you should’ve crawled into</span><span class="line">a hole and fucking <em>died</em>!" And then the Universe</span><span class="line">punches you right in the gut, something like sixteen</span></p> |
| 41 | <p><span class="line">At first, it feels like you’re winning—that yesterday</span><span class="line">you really were meant to die, but since you still <em>are</em>,</span><span class="line">you beat the system somehow. But the Universe bawls,</span><span class="line">“No, I meant you should’ve crawled into</span><span class="line">a hole and fucking <em>died</em>!" And then the Universe</span><span class="line">punches you right in the gut, something like sixteen</span></p> | 41 | <p><span class="line">times, and all you can think is, “Some sixteenth</span><span class="line">birthday! Maybe I will go die in a hole." Yesterday,</span><span class="line">at times like this, is a luxury the cruel Universe</span><span class="line">refuses to give you. This is when it’s a pain just to <em>be</em>,</span><span class="line">when that Marvell line about “<a href="http://www.luminarium.org/sevenlit/marvell/coy.htm">rolling our stuff into one ball</a>”</span><span class="line">just seems glib, when you don’t want one body, let alone two.</span></p> |
| 42 | <p><span class="line">times, and all you can think is, “Some sixteenth</span><span class="line">birthday! Maybe I will go die in a hole." Yesterday,</span><span class="line">at times like this, is a luxury the cruel Universe</span><span class="line">refuses to give you. This is when it’s a pain just to <em>be</em>,</span><span class="line">when that Marvell line about “<a href="http://www.luminarium.org/sevenlit/marvell/coy.htm">rolling our stuff into one ball</a>”</span><span class="line">just seems glib, when you don’t want one body, let alone two.</span></p> | 42 | <p><span class="line">Something else that may come as a surprise to</span><span class="line">you: over the past more-than-a-fortnight, these sixteen</span><span class="line">days, I’ve had nothing to eat but crackers and a cheese ball.</span><span class="line">(That’s not entirely true—yesterday</span><span class="line">I had some candy, peppermints and Jujubes.)</span><span class="line">Maybe this is why I’m so mad at the Universe—</span></p> |
| 43 | <p><span class="line">Something else that may come as a surprise to</span><span class="line">you: over the past more-than-a-fortnight, these sixteen</span><span class="line">days, I’ve had nothing to eat but crackers and a cheese ball.</span><span class="line">(That’s not entirely true—yesterday</span><span class="line">I had some candy, peppermints and Jujubes.)</span><span class="line">Maybe this is why I’m so mad at the Universe—</span></p> | 43 | <p><span class="line">because all it has ever wanted, this Universe</span><span class="line">that gave me life, fed me from its breast til I was two,</span><span class="line">and even before that, made a place in which I could be—</span><span class="line">all it’s wanted was for me to take the sixteen</span><span class="line">steps to sobriety, fold the Eight-Fold Path over yesterday</span><span class="line">and step around it lightly, as I would an exercise ball,</span></p> |
| 44 | <p><span class="line">because all it has ever wanted, this Universe</span><span class="line">that gave me life, fed me from its breast til I was two,</span><span class="line">and even before that, made a place in which I could be—</span><span class="line">all it’s wanted was for me to take the sixteen</span><span class="line">steps to sobriety, fold the Eight-Fold Path over yesterday</span><span class="line">and step around it lightly, as I would an exercise ball,</span></p> | 44 | <p><span class="line">but the problem is, dear Universe, there’s no way I could be</span><span class="line">something as hard as all that, to wake up yesterday</span><span class="line">morning, stretch over my sixteen selves, bound out like a ball.</span></p> |
| 45 | <p><span class="line">but the problem is, dear Universe, there’s no way I could be</span><span class="line">something as hard as all that, to wake up yesterday</span><span class="line">morning, stretch over my sixteen selves, bound out like a ball.</span></p> | 45 | </section> |
| 46 | </section> | 46 | </article> |
| 47 | </article> | 47 | <nav> |
| 48 | <nav> | 48 | <div class="anchors"> |
| 49 | <div class="anchors"> | 49 | <a href="backlinks/i-wanted-to-tell-you-something.html" id="backlinks" title="Links to this page"> |
| 50 | <a href="i-wanted-to-tell-you-something_backlinks.htm" id="back-link" title="Links to this page"> | 50 | φ |
| 51 | φ | 51 | </a> |
| 52 | </a> | 52 | <a href="index.html" id="coverlink" title="To cover">◊</a> |
| 53 | <a href="index.html" id="cover-link" title="To cover">◊</a> | 53 | <a href="#" id="randomizelink" title="ERROR">ξ</a> |
| 54 | <a href="#" id="lozenge" title="ERROR">ξ</a> | 54 | </div> |
| 55 | </div> | 55 | |
| 56 | 56 | ||
| 57 | 57 | </nav> | |
| 58 | </nav> | 58 | |
| 59 | |||
| 60 | |||
| 61 | </body> | 59 | </body> |
| 62 | </html> | 60 | </html> |