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+---
+title: Initial conditions
+id: initial-conditions
+genre: verse
+
+project:
+    title: Stark Raving
+    class: stark
+    order: 11
+    next:
+    - title: Love as God
+      link: love-as-god
+    - title: Ouroboros of memory
+      link: ouroboros_memory
+    prev:
+    - title: I think it's you (but it's not)
+      link: i-think-its-you
+    - title: Last Bastion
+      link: last-bastion
+...
+
+There is a theory which states the Universe \
+if it began with the same initial conditions \
+( [same gravity][] same strong weak nuclear force same \
+size and shape ) would unfold in exactly \
+the way it has : with the same planets [orbiting suns][] \
+same people making same mistakes : like this morning
+
+( It's actually past two but I will call it [morning][] ) \
+while turning on the shower : I as the Universe \
+intended ( although I was expecting the heat of suns ) \
+[had the ice of inner space][] : those pre existing conditions \
+before the Big Bang : the shower was almost exactly \
+freezing for a split second : every day it's the same :
+
+[I turn on the tap][] hop in pull the knob have the same \
+moment of utter panic then pain then a relaxing morning \
+shower where I spend between five to ten ( I'm not sure exactly ) \
+minutes : I have good thoughts : [this poem about the Universe][] \
+for example : I had the idea while I was conditioning \
+my hair : it came to me like accidentally looking at the sun :
+
+the pain and the wonder that something as large as suns \
+could appear so small and yet so hot all at the same \
+time : so hot in the summer we require air conditioning \
+( although now in the winter it's cold in the morning ) \
+and I can't wait to hop in the shower that tiny universe \
+of water and steam and soap and [body][] : that and only that exactly
+
+or rather exclusively ( it's hard to get the words exactly \
+right : the meanings bleed into each other like the sun's \
+shadows on pavement ) ready for me to [dream][] another universe \
+into it on top of it again and again until they all look the same : \
+I can't tell whether it's my morning or the shower's morning \
+or where I put the conditioner or what the initial conditions
+
+could have been that decided I would misplace my conditioner \
+today : and why and how much planning was involved exactly \
+that would cause so far down the production line of this morning \
+\: me to [wake up so long after the rising][] of the sun \
+\: me to stay inside all day even after showering to look at the same \
+[computer screen][] : to give up the actual universe to the universe
+
+in there with its conditions : where [the screen serves][] as sickly sun : \
+where there is apparently exactly what I need : no more : the same \
+three sites I visited this morning comprising my entire Universe
+
+[same gravity]: the-sea_the-beach.html
+[orbiting suns]: big-dipper.html
+[morning]: plant.html
+[had the ice of inner space]: 100-lines.html
+[I turn on the tap]: hard-game.html
+[this poem about the Universe]: howtoread.html
+[body]: ouroboros_memory.html
+[dream]: dream.html
+[wake up so long after the rising]: stump.html
+[computer screen]: telemarketer.html
+[the screen serves]: reports.html