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1---
2title: Initial conditions
3id: initial-conditions
4genre: verse
5
6project:
7 title: Stark Raving
8 class: stark
9 order: 11
10 next:
11 - title: Love as God
12 link: love-as-god
13 - title: Ouroboros of memory
14 link: ouroboros_memory
15 prev:
16 - title: I think it's you (but it's not)
17 link: i-think-its-you
18 - title: Last Bastion
19 link: last-bastion
20...
21
22There is a theory which states the Universe \
23if it began with the same initial conditions \
24( [same gravity][] same strong weak nuclear force same \
25size and shape ) would unfold in exactly \
26the way it has : with the same planets [orbiting suns][] \
27same people making same mistakes : like this morning
28
29( It's actually past two but I will call it [morning][] ) \
30while turning on the shower : I as the Universe \
31intended ( although I was expecting the heat of suns ) \
32[had the ice of inner space][] : those pre existing conditions \
33before the Big Bang : the shower was almost exactly \
34freezing for a split second : every day it's the same :
35
36[I turn on the tap][] hop in pull the knob have the same \
37moment of utter panic then pain then a relaxing morning \
38shower where I spend between five to ten ( I'm not sure exactly ) \
39minutes : I have good thoughts : [this poem about the Universe][] \
40for example : I had the idea while I was conditioning \
41my hair : it came to me like accidentally looking at the sun :
42
43the pain and the wonder that something as large as suns \
44could appear so small and yet so hot all at the same \
45time : so hot in the summer we require air conditioning \
46( although now in the winter it's cold in the morning ) \
47and I can't wait to hop in the shower that tiny universe \
48of water and steam and soap and [body][] : that and only that exactly
49
50or rather exclusively ( it's hard to get the words exactly \
51right : the meanings bleed into each other like the sun's \
52shadows on pavement ) ready for me to [dream][] another universe \
53into it on top of it again and again until they all look the same : \
54I can't tell whether it's my morning or the shower's morning \
55or where I put the conditioner or what the initial conditions
56
57could have been that decided I would misplace my conditioner \
58today : and why and how much planning was involved exactly \
59that would cause so far down the production line of this morning \
60\: me to [wake up so long after the rising][] of the sun \
61\: me to stay inside all day even after showering to look at the same \
62[computer screen][] : to give up the actual universe to the universe
63
64in there with its conditions : where [the screen serves][] as sickly sun : \
65where there is apparently exactly what I need : no more : the same \
66three sites I visited this morning comprising my entire Universe
67
68[same gravity]: the-sea_the-beach.html
69[orbiting suns]: big-dipper.html
70[morning]: plant.html
71[had the ice of inner space]: 100-lines.html
72[I turn on the tap]: hard-game.html
73[this poem about the Universe]: howtoread.html
74[body]: ouroboros_memory.html
75[dream]: dream.html
76[wake up so long after the rising]: stump.html
77[computer screen]: telemarketer.html
78[the screen serves]: reports.html