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1 | --- | ||
2 | title: Problems | ||
3 | genre: prose | ||
4 | |||
5 | project: | ||
6 | title: Book of Hezekiah | ||
7 | css: hezekiah | ||
8 | order: 6 | ||
9 | next: | ||
10 | title: Liking things | ||
11 | link: likingthings | ||
12 | prev: | ||
13 | title: Moving sideways | ||
14 | link: movingsideways | ||
15 | ... | ||
16 | |||
17 | The problem with people is this: we cannot be happy. No matter how hard | ||
18 | or easy we try, it is not to be. It seems sometimes that, just as the | ||
19 | dog was made for jumping in mud and sniffing out foxholes and having a | ||
20 | good time all around, man was made for sadness, loneliness and | ||
21 | heartache. | ||
22 | |||
23 | Being the observant and judgmental people they are, people have for a | ||
24 | long time tried to figure out why they aren't happy. Some say it's | ||
25 | because we're obviously doing something wrong. Some say it's because we | ||
26 | think too much. Some insist that it's because other people have more | ||
27 | stuff than we do. These people don't have a clue any more than any of | ||
28 | the rest of us. At least I don't think they do, and that's good enough | ||
29 | for me.[^1] I think that the reason why people are unhappy (and this is | ||
30 | a personal opinion) is that they realize on some level (for some it's a | ||
31 | pretty shallow level, others it's way down there next to their love for | ||
32 | women's stockings[^2]) that there is no background to put themselves | ||
33 | against, no "[big picture][]" to get painted into. This makes sense, because | ||
34 | on one level, the level of everyday life, the level of *observation*, | ||
35 | there is always a background---look in a pair of binoculars sometime. But | ||
36 | on another level, that of ... shit, wait. There are no other levels.[^3] | ||
37 | |||
38 | What's more, people try to explain how to get happy again (although it's | ||
39 | doubtful they were ever happy in the first place---people are very good at | ||
40 | fooling). Some say standing or [sitting in a building][] with a lot of other | ||
41 | unhappy people helps. Some say that you can't stop there; you also need | ||
42 | to sing with those other unhappy people about how unhappy you are, and | ||
43 | how you wish someone would come along and help you out, I guess by | ||
44 | giving you money or something. I say all you really need to be happy is | ||
45 | a good stiff drink.[^4] | ||
46 | |||
47 | In any case, people have for some reason or another, and to some end or | ||
48 | another, always been unhappy. And people have always tried to figure out | ||
49 | ways to be less unhappy---one of the most important things to people | ||
50 | everywhere is called "the pursuit of happiness." I think that calling it | ||
51 | a pursuit makes people feel more like dogs, who are the most happy | ||
52 | beings most people can think of. By pursuing happiness, they're like a | ||
53 | dog pursuing a possum or a bone on a fishing rod: two activities that | ||
54 | sound like a lot of fun to most people. I think most people wish they | ||
55 | were dogs. | ||
56 | |||
57 | [big picture]: ronaldmcdonald.html | ||
58 | [sitting in a buiding]: feedingtheraven.html | ||
59 | |||
60 | |||
61 | [^1]: This seems to be an attempt on Hezzy's part to set an example for | ||
62 | mankind. It should be noted that he is an alcoholic, and not in any | ||
63 | shape to be an example to anyone. | ||
64 | |||
65 | [^2]: It is thought that only the leg coverings of the female sex are | ||
66 | here referenced | ||
67 | |||
68 | [^3]: You have hereby found the super special secret cheat code room. | ||
69 | Yes, this is just like Super Mario Brothers---you can skip right to | ||
70 | the end. Go and face the final boss already! | ||
71 | |||
72 | [^4]: See footnote, above | ||