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Diffstat (limited to 'river/movingsideways.river')
-rw-r--r-- | river/movingsideways.river | 445 |
1 files changed, 445 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/river/movingsideways.river b/river/movingsideways.river new file mode 100644 index 0000000..17edefa --- /dev/null +++ b/river/movingsideways.river | |||
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1 | moving | ||
2 | sideways | ||
3 | a | ||
4 | dog | ||
5 | moving | ||
6 | sideways | ||
7 | is | ||
8 | sick | ||
9 | a | ||
10 | man | ||
11 | moving | ||
12 | sideways | ||
13 | is | ||
14 | drunk | ||
15 | thus | ||
16 | if | ||
17 | you | ||
18 | want | ||
19 | to | ||
20 | be | ||
21 | mindful | ||
22 | of | ||
23 | the | ||
24 | movings | ||
25 | of | ||
26 | the | ||
27 | universe | ||
28 | sideways | ||
29 | become | ||
30 | either | ||
31 | drunk | ||
32 | or | ||
33 | sick | ||
34 | by | ||
35 | doing | ||
36 | this | ||
37 | you | ||
38 | remove | ||
39 | yourself | ||
40 | from | ||
41 | the | ||
42 | equation | ||
43 | and | ||
44 | are | ||
45 | able | ||
46 | to | ||
47 | observe | ||
48 | without | ||
49 | being | ||
50 | observed | ||
51 | the | ||
52 | universe | ||
53 | as | ||
54 | it | ||
55 | dances | ||
56 | sideways | ||
57 | drunkenly | ||
58 | shit | ||
59 | wait | ||
60 | the | ||
61 | problem | ||
62 | is | ||
63 | not | ||
64 | that | ||
65 | by | ||
66 | observing | ||
67 | you | ||
68 | are | ||
69 | observed | ||
70 | although | ||
71 | quantum | ||
72 | mechanics | ||
73 | may | ||
74 | disagreequantum | ||
75 | mechanics | ||
76 | as | ||
77 | is | ||
78 | well | ||
79 | known | ||
80 | are | ||
81 | the | ||
82 | most | ||
83 | hornery | ||
84 | and | ||
85 | least | ||
86 | agreeable | ||
87 | of | ||
88 | all | ||
89 | mechanics | ||
90 | the | ||
91 | cost | ||
92 | to | ||
93 | get | ||
94 | one | ||
95 | quantum | ||
96 | serviced | ||
97 | is | ||
98 | usually | ||
99 | at | ||
100 | least | ||
101 | eight | ||
102 | times | ||
103 | more | ||
104 | expensive | ||
105 | than | ||
106 | the | ||
107 | cost | ||
108 | of | ||
109 | an | ||
110 | average | ||
111 | automobile | ||
112 | tune-up | ||
113 | for | ||
114 | reasons | ||
115 | not | ||
116 | clearly | ||
117 | known | ||
118 | the | ||
119 | quantum | ||
120 | mechanics | ||
121 | themselves | ||
122 | claim | ||
123 | it's | ||
124 | the | ||
125 | smallness | ||
126 | of | ||
127 | their | ||
128 | work | ||
129 | that | ||
130 | justifies | ||
131 | the | ||
132 | price | ||
133 | but | ||
134 | it | ||
135 | doesn't | ||
136 | really | ||
137 | look | ||
138 | like | ||
139 | they're | ||
140 | doing | ||
141 | anything | ||
142 | and | ||
143 | besides | ||
144 | my | ||
145 | quantum | ||
146 | always | ||
147 | seems | ||
148 | to | ||
149 | break | ||
150 | again | ||
151 | within | ||
152 | six | ||
153 | months | ||
154 | maybe | ||
155 | i'm | ||
156 | just | ||
157 | driving | ||
158 | it | ||
159 | too | ||
160 | hard | ||
161 | because | ||
162 | obviously | ||
163 | dogs | ||
164 | don't | ||
165 | know | ||
166 | we're | ||
167 | observing | ||
168 | them | ||
169 | when | ||
170 | we | ||
171 | watch | ||
172 | them | ||
173 | through | ||
174 | cameras | ||
175 | in | ||
176 | their | ||
177 | little | ||
178 | yard | ||
179 | while | ||
180 | they | ||
181 | play | ||
182 | and | ||
183 | eat | ||
184 | and | ||
185 | poop | ||
186 | who | ||
187 | poops | ||
188 | knowingly | ||
189 | on | ||
190 | camera | ||
191 | the | ||
192 | problem | ||
193 | is | ||
194 | the | ||
195 | actual | ||
196 | act | ||
197 | of | ||
198 | observing | ||
199 | that | ||
200 | distorts | ||
201 | the | ||
202 | world | ||
203 | into | ||
204 | what | ||
205 | we | ||
206 | want | ||
207 | it | ||
208 | to | ||
209 | be | ||
210 | what | ||
211 | i | ||
212 | want | ||
213 | to | ||
214 | know | ||
215 | is | ||
216 | this | ||
217 | why | ||
218 | is | ||
219 | this | ||
220 | necessarily | ||
221 | a | ||
222 | problem | ||
223 | the | ||
224 | dog | ||
225 | is | ||
226 | made | ||
227 | by | ||
228 | mankind | ||
229 | to | ||
230 | frolic | ||
231 | and | ||
232 | poop | ||
233 | and | ||
234 | sniff | ||
235 | and | ||
236 | growl | ||
237 | and | ||
238 | dig | ||
239 | why | ||
240 | cannot | ||
241 | the | ||
242 | man | ||
243 | be | ||
244 | made | ||
245 | to | ||
246 | observe | ||
247 | the | ||
248 | world | ||
249 | incorrectly | ||
250 | around | ||
251 | him | ||
252 | and | ||
253 | worry | ||
254 | about | ||
255 | it | ||
256 | men | ||
257 | have | ||
258 | always | ||
259 | wandered | ||
260 | about | ||
261 | the | ||
262 | earth | ||
263 | does | ||
264 | it | ||
265 | not | ||
266 | make | ||
267 | sense | ||
268 | that | ||
269 | also | ||
270 | they | ||
271 | should | ||
272 | wonder | ||
273 | in | ||
274 | their | ||
275 | minds | ||
276 | what | ||
277 | makes | ||
278 | it | ||
279 | all | ||
280 | work | ||
281 | i | ||
282 | attempted | ||
283 | to | ||
284 | strike | ||
285 | this | ||
286 | terrible | ||
287 | pun | ||
288 | from | ||
289 | the | ||
290 | account | ||
291 | but | ||
292 | hezekiah | ||
293 | demanded | ||
294 | i | ||
295 | keep | ||
296 | it | ||
297 | if | ||
298 | he | ||
299 | were | ||
300 | to | ||
301 | continue | ||
302 | the | ||
303 | relation | ||
304 | of | ||
305 | his | ||
306 | prophecy-slash-advice | ||
307 | column | ||
308 | in | ||
309 | fact | ||
310 | this | ||
311 | is | ||
312 | the | ||
313 | very | ||
314 | center | ||
315 | of | ||
316 | the | ||
317 | creative | ||
318 | being | ||
319 | the | ||
320 | ability | ||
321 | to | ||
322 | move | ||
323 | sideways | ||
324 | to | ||
325 | dance | ||
326 | with | ||
327 | reality | ||
328 | and | ||
329 | judge | ||
330 | it | ||
331 | as | ||
332 | it | ||
333 | judges | ||
334 | you | ||
335 | much | ||
336 | like | ||
337 | teenagers | ||
338 | at | ||
339 | the | ||
340 | junior | ||
341 | prom | ||
342 | of | ||
343 | course | ||
344 | reality | ||
345 | doesn't | ||
346 | judge | ||
347 | us | ||
348 | back | ||
349 | but | ||
350 | that | ||
351 | doesn't | ||
352 | mean | ||
353 | that | ||
354 | it | ||
355 | doesn't | ||
356 | if | ||
357 | you | ||
358 | think | ||
359 | it's | ||
360 | judging | ||
361 | you | ||
362 | then | ||
363 | observe | ||
364 | in | ||
365 | your | ||
366 | surroundings | ||
367 | your | ||
368 | own | ||
369 | insecurities | ||
370 | it | ||
371 | is | ||
372 | obvious | ||
373 | that | ||
374 | this | ||
375 | way | ||
376 | of | ||
377 | doing | ||
378 | things | ||
379 | is | ||
380 | far | ||
381 | from | ||
382 | vogue | ||
383 | usually | ||
384 | projecting | ||
385 | inner | ||
386 | pain | ||
387 | onto | ||
388 | the | ||
389 | outer | ||
390 | world | ||
391 | is | ||
392 | classified | ||
393 | as | ||
394 | pathology | ||
395 | however | ||
396 | this | ||
397 | is | ||
398 | because | ||
399 | it | ||
400 | is | ||
401 | assumed | ||
402 | that | ||
403 | the | ||
404 | outer | ||
405 | world | ||
406 | is | ||
407 | on | ||
408 | its | ||
409 | own | ||
410 | terms | ||
411 | which | ||
412 | it | ||
413 | obviously | ||
414 | isn't | ||
415 | as | ||
416 | far | ||
417 | as | ||
418 | we | ||
419 | know | ||
420 | it | ||
421 | follows | ||
422 | that | ||
423 | as | ||
424 | there | ||
425 | is | ||
426 | no | ||
427 | backdrop | ||
428 | against | ||
429 | which | ||
430 | to | ||
431 | judge | ||
432 | our | ||
433 | quirks | ||
434 | the | ||
435 | quirks | ||
436 | must | ||
437 | not | ||
438 | exist | ||
439 | thus | ||
440 | all | ||
441 | is | ||
442 | right | ||
443 | with | ||
444 | the | ||
445 | world | ||