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1 | --- | ||
2 | title: Creation myth | ||
3 | genre: verse | ||
4 | |||
5 | project: | ||
6 | title: Autocento of the breakfast table | ||
7 | css: autocento | ||
8 | ... | ||
9 | |||
10 | So two hyperintelligent pandimensional beings \ | ||
11 | walk into a bar. One turns to the other and says, \ | ||
12 | "Did you remember to check the end state \ | ||
13 | of that simulation we were running?" The other \ | ||
14 | says, "No, I thought that you did?" To which \ | ||
15 | the first replies, "Oh shit, we missed it. \ | ||
16 | I suppose we must do all of this again. Barkeep, | ||
17 | |||
18 | two beers please." The bartender nods in that way \ | ||
19 | that bartenders do, pours the two beers, \ | ||
20 | expertly, by the way, just so, and hands them \ | ||
21 | to the first hyperintelligent pandimensional being. \ | ||
22 | The second one pulls a few singles out of his \ | ||
23 | wallet, places them on the bar, and the pair \ | ||
24 | turn around and begin walking toward a table \ | ||
25 | in the middle of the mostly-empty bar. The bar- \ | ||
26 | tender picks up the money, fans it out, frowns, \ | ||
27 | and calls to his patrons' backs: "Hey, this \ | ||
28 | isn't enough!" The two turn around simultan- \ | ||
29 | eously, with parity, and stare at him. A beat. | ||
30 | |||
31 | One of them, the one without the beer, breaks \ | ||
32 | the silence by exclaiming, "Oh dear god, I'm \ | ||
33 | sorry! I didn't know your prices went up since \ | ||
34 | last time. What do I owe you?" The bartender \ | ||
35 | says, "Oh, just another dollar-fifty." The being \ | ||
36 | reaches in his back pocket, slides out his \ | ||
37 | wallet, looks in smiling, and frowns when he sees \ | ||
38 | it's empty. He looks to the other and says, \ | ||
39 | "You got a buck-fifty I can borrow?" | ||
40 | |||
41 | The second hyperintelligent pandimensional being \ | ||
42 | considers this. He sets the beers down \ | ||
43 | on the table, pulls out his own wallet, opens \ | ||
44 | it, and frowns. "I'm broke too," he says. | ||