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1 | --- | ||
2 | title: Creation myth | ||
3 | id: creation-myth | ||
4 | genre: verse | ||
5 | |||
6 | project: | ||
7 | title: Autocento of the breakfast table | ||
8 | class: autocento | ||
9 | ... | ||
10 | |||
11 | So two hyperintelligent pandimensional beings \ | ||
12 | walk into a bar. One turns to the other and says, \ | ||
13 | "Did you remember to check the end state \ | ||
14 | of that simulation we were running?" The other \ | ||
15 | says, "No, I thought that you did?" To which \ | ||
16 | the first replies, "[Oh shit][], we missed it. \ | ||
17 | I suppose we must do all of this again. Barkeep, | ||
18 | |||
19 | two beers please." The bartender nods in that way \ | ||
20 | that bartenders do, pours the two beers, \ | ||
21 | expertly, by the way, just so, and hands them \ | ||
22 | to the first [hyperintelligent pandimensional][] being. \ | ||
23 | The second one pulls a few singles out of his \ | ||
24 | wallet, places them on the bar, and the pair \ | ||
25 | turn around and begin walking toward a table \ | ||
26 | in the middle of the mostly-empty bar. The bar- \ | ||
27 | tender picks up the money, fans it out, frowns, \ | ||
28 | and calls to his patrons' backs: "Hey, this \ | ||
29 | isn't enough!" The two turn around simultan- \ | ||
30 | eously, with parity, and stare at him. A beat. | ||
31 | |||
32 | One of them, the one without the beer, breaks \ | ||
33 | the silence by exclaiming, "Oh dear god, I'm \ | ||
34 | sorry! I didn't know your prices went up since \ | ||
35 | last time. What do I owe you?" The bartender \ | ||
36 | says, "Oh, just another [dollar][]-fifty." The being \ | ||
37 | reaches in his back pocket, slides out his \ | ||
38 | wallet, looks in smiling, and frowns when he sees \ | ||
39 | it's empty. He looks to the other and says, \ | ||
40 | "You got a [buck][]-fifty I can borrow?" | ||
41 | |||
42 | The second hyperintelligent pandimensional being \ | ||
43 | considers this. He sets the beers down \ | ||
44 | on the table, pulls out his own wallet, opens \ | ||
45 | it, and frowns. "I'm broke too," he says. | ||
46 | |||
47 | [hyperintelligent pandimensional]: http://hitchhikers.wikia.com/wiki/Mice | ||
48 | [Oh shit]: movingsideways.html | ||
49 | [dollar]: 100-lines.html | ||
50 | [buck]: plant.html | ||