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+---
+title: Liking Things
+genre: prose
+
+project:
+    title: Book of Hezekiah
+    css: hezekiah
+    order: 7
+    prev:
+        title: Problems
+        link: problems
+...
+
+The definition of happiness is *doing stuff that you really like*.  That
+stuff can be eating soup, going to the bathroom, walking the dog,
+playing Dungeons and Dragons; whatever keeps your mind off the fact that
+you're so goddamn unhappy all the time.  That, incidentally, is the
+definition of like: *that feeling you get when you forget how miserable
+you are for just a little bit*.  Thus people like doing stuff they like
+all the time, as often as possible; because if they remember how
+horrible they really feel at not having a background to put themselves
+against, they will want to hurt themselves and those around them.
+
+The funny thing is that something we people really like to do is hurt
+ourselves and those around us.  We do this by thinking other people are
+more unhappy than we are.  We convince themselves that we are truly
+happy, ecstatic even, while they merely plod around life half-heartedly,
+or, if they're lucky, incorrectly.  We take it upon ourselves (seeing as
+we are so happy, and can spare a little bit of happiness) to help them
+become happy as well.  We fail to realize that the people will probably
+not appreciate our thinking that we're better than they are somehow, for
+that is what we do even if we don't mean it.  We forget that we are also
+unhappy, and that we are just doing things we like in order to cheer
+ourselves up a little bit, which really means that this cheering is
+working; but there is such a thing as working too well.  So in a sense
+what I'm doing here is cheering myself up by reminding you that you are
+unhappy; I'm trying to keep you honest in your unhappiness; and I admit
+this is usually called a dick move.
+
+In fact, the best way to overcome happy-hungering (this is the term as I
+dub it) is commit as many dick moves as possible, to keep people
+remembering that unhappiness abounds.  If you see someone smiling like a
+little dog who knows it's about to get pet or get a treat or go to the
+vet to donate doggy sperm, smile back.  Grin toothily (a little too
+toothily for a little too long).  Their smile will start to fade if
+you're doing it right.  Saunter to them, slide as if you're an Olympic
+quality ice-skater, as if you're a really good bowler who knows he's
+playing against twelve year olds and'll win by a hundred.  Get really
+close.  Far too close for what most people would call comfort.  And remind
+them of how awful life can be: "I really like your [shirt][]---really only
+children chained to looms can get that tight of a weave," you can say,
+or "You're not really going to recycle that coffee cup, are you?"  They
+will probably get angry, but that's what's supposed to happen.  By making
+dick moves, you can overcome what may be the biggest evil on this earth:
+Happy-Hungering.
+
+[shirt]: theoceanoverflowswithcamels.html