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+---
+title: Initial conditions
+genre: verse
+
+id: initial-conditions
+toc: "Initial conditions"
+
+project:
+    title: Stark Raving
+    class: stark
+    order: 11
+    next:
+    - title: Love as God
+      link: love-as-god
+    - title: Ouroboros of memory
+      link: ouroboros_memory
+    prev:
+    - title: I think it's you (but it's not)
+      link: i-think-its-you
+    - title: Last Bastion
+      link: last-bastion
+...
+
+| There is a theory which states the Universe
+| if it began with the same initial conditions
+| ( [same gravity][] same strong weak nuclear force same
+| size and shape ) would unfold in exactly
+| the way it has : with the same planets [orbiting suns][]
+| same people making same mistakes : like this morning
+
+| ( It's actually past two but I will call it [morning][] )
+| while turning on the shower : I as the Universe
+| intended ( although I was expecting the heat of suns )
+| [had the ice of inner space][] : those pre existing conditions
+| before the Big Bang : the shower was almost exactly
+| freezing for a split second : every day it's the same :
+
+| [I turn on the tap][] hop in pull the knob have the same
+| moment of utter panic then pain then a relaxing morning
+| shower where I spend between five to ten ( I'm not sure exactly )
+| minutes : I have good thoughts : [this poem about the Universe][]
+| for example : I had the idea while I was conditioning
+| my hair : it came to me like accidentally looking at the sun :
+
+| the pain and the wonder that something as large as suns
+| could appear so small and yet so hot all at the same
+| time : so hot in the summer we require air conditioning
+| ( although now in the winter it's cold in the morning )
+| and I can't wait to hop in the shower that tiny universe
+| of water and steam and soap and [body][] : that and only that exactly
+
+| or rather exclusively ( it's hard to get the words exactly
+| right : the meanings bleed into each other like the sun's
+| shadows on pavement ) ready for me to [dream][] another universe
+| into it on top of it again and again until they all look the same :
+| I can't tell whether it's my morning or the shower's morning
+| or where I put the conditioner or what the initial conditions
+
+| could have been that decided I would misplace my conditioner
+| today : and why and how much planning was involved exactly
+| that would cause so far down the production line of this morning
+| \: me to [wake up so long after the rising][] of the sun
+| \: me to stay inside all day even after showering to look at the same
+| [computer screen][] : to give up the actual universe to the universe
+
+| in there with its conditions : where [the screen serves][] as sickly sun :
+| where there is apparently exactly what I need : no more : the same
+| three sites I visited this morning comprising my entire Universe
+
+[same gravity]: the-sea_the-beach.html
+[orbiting suns]: big-dipper.html
+[morning]: plant.html
+[had the ice of inner space]: one-hundred-lines.html
+[I turn on the tap]: hard-game.html
+[this poem about the Universe]: howtoread.html
+[body]: ouroboros_memory.html
+[dream]: dream.html
+[wake up so long after the rising]: stump.html
+[computer screen]: telemarketer.html
+[the screen serves]: reports.html