summary refs log tree commit diff stats
path: root/i-wanted-to-tell-you-something.html
blob: c7349ae511219d877b44ed63eb3710499bfd8d75 (plain)
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
<!DOCTYPE html>
<!-- AUTOCENTO OF THE BREAKFAST TABLE -->
<!-- vim: fdm=indent
-->
<html lang="en">
<head>
    <meta charset="utf-8">
    <meta name="generator" content="pandoc">
    <meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0, user-scalable=yes">
    <meta name="author" content="Case Duckworth">

    <title>I wanted to tell you something | Autocento of the breakfast table</title>
    <link rel="icon" type="image/png" href="trunk/favico.png" />

    <link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="style.css">
    <script src="trunk/lozenge.js" type="text/javascript"> </script>
    <script src="trunk/hylo.js" type="text/javascript"> </script>

    <!--[if lt IE 9]>
    <script src="http://html5shim.googlecode.com/svn/trunk/html5.js"> </script>
    <![endif]-->
    </head>
<body id="i-wanted-to-tell-you-something" class="autocento">
    

    <article class="container">
        <header>
            <!-- title -->
            <h1 class="title">I wanted to tell you something</h1>
            

            <div class="header-extra">
                
                            </div>
        </header>

        
        <section class="content verse">
            <p><span class="line">I wanted to tell you something in order <a href="poetry-time.html">to</a></span><span class="line">explain the way I feel about the <a href="initial-conditions.html">Universe</a>,</span><span class="line">its workings, etc. But I couldn’t <a href="exasperated.html">yesterday</a></span><span class="line">—I’m sorry—I wanted only to <a href="ouroboros_memory.html">ball</a></span><span class="line">myself up and cry all day. It was the <a href="sixteenth-chapel.html">sixteenth</a></span><span class="line">day in a row this happened to me, and to <a href="love-as-god.html">be</a></span></p>
            <p><span class="line">more than two weeks waiting to cry is,</span><span class="line">especially when, the whole time, I wasn’t able to,</span><span class="line">absolutely horrible. It was no sweet sixteen,</span><span class="line">I’ll tell you that much. Unless at yours, the Universe</span><span class="line">kept telling you to quit having such a ball</span><span class="line">and that you should have died, like, yesterday.</span></p>
            <p><span class="line">At first, it feels like you’re winning—that yesterday</span><span class="line">you really were meant to die, but since you still <em>are</em>,</span><span class="line">you beat the system somehow. But the Universe bawls,</span><span class="line">“No, I meant you should’ve crawled into</span><span class="line">a hole and fucking <em>died</em>!&quot; And then the Universe</span><span class="line">punches you right in the gut, something like sixteen</span></p>
            <p><span class="line">times, and all you can think is, “Some sixteenth</span><span class="line">birthday! Maybe I will go die in a hole.&quot; Yesterday,</span><span class="line">at times like this, is a luxury the cruel Universe</span><span class="line">refuses to give you. This is when it’s a pain just to <em>be</em>,</span><span class="line">when that Marvell line about “<a href="http://www.luminarium.org/sevenlit/marvell/coy.htm">rolling our stuff into one ball</a>”</span><span class="line">just seems glib, when you don’t want one body, let alone two.</span></p>
            <p><span class="line">Something else that may come as a surprise to</span><span class="line">you: over the past more-than-a-fortnight, these sixteen</span><span class="line">days, I’ve had nothing to eat but crackers and a cheese ball.</span><span class="line">(That’s not entirely true—yesterday</span><span class="line">I had some candy, peppermints and Jujubes.)</span><span class="line">Maybe this is why I’m so mad at the Universe—</span></p>
            <p><span class="line">because all it has ever wanted, this Universe</span><span class="line">that gave me life, fed me from its breast til I was two,</span><span class="line">and even before that, made a place in which I could be—</span><span class="line">all it’s wanted was for me to take the sixteen</span><span class="line">steps to sobriety, fold the Eight-Fold Path over yesterday</span><span class="line">and step around it lightly, as I would an exercise ball,</span></p>
            <p><span class="line">but the problem is, dear Universe, there’s no way I could be</span><span class="line">something as hard as all that, to wake up yesterday</span><span class="line">morning, stretch over my sixteen selves, bound out like a ball.</span></p>
        </section>
    </article>
    <nav>
        
        <!-- ANCHORS -->
        <div class="anchors">
            <a href="index.html" id="cover-link" title="To cover">&loz;</a>
            <a href="#" id="lozenge" title="ERROR">&#x221d;</a>
        </div>

            </nav>

    
</body>
</html>