in-bed.html


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    <title>In bed | Autocento of the breakfast table</title>

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        <h1 class="title">In bed</h1>
        

        
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    <section class="thing verse">
    <h2 id="i">I</h2>
    <p>I hear <a href="last-bastion.html">the rats</a> run<br />in the walls like water<br />through a tree. My blood</p>
    <p>thickens. As I dream<br />the masturbation dream<br />the shelf above my bed</p>
    <p>falls covering me in<br />dirt and decaying beetles.<br /><a href="deathstrumpet.html">I see my reflection is headless</a>.</p>
    <h2 id="ii">II</h2>
    <p>When the waves stop<br /><a href="moon-drowning.html">and the moon grins down</a><br />to overtake me: the car</p>
    <p>ran up the street that night<br />when you were nearly<br />molested in your neighbor’s house:</p>
    <p>is this why we don’t have<br />neighbors? For this the trees<br /><a href="options.html">rot only for us</a>?</p>
    <h2 id="iii">III</h2>
    <p>I woke screaming and you<br />came to sit next to me. I felt<br />my eyes were open too wide</p>
    <p>that I could not shut them<br />from the horror movie sitting<br />on your lap in the easy chair</p>
    <p>in the dream the other dream<br />in the living room under<br />the tree. Why do I feel guilty?</p>
    <h2 id="iv">IV</h2>
    <p>I wake up in a pool of water<br /><a href="theoceanoverflowswithcamels.html">closed over me like an eyelid</a>.<br />There is no longer comfort</p>
    <p>in staring at the ceiling.<br />Its pitch blackness beckons<br />into a future of blankness.</p>
    <p>My body lay still quaking.<br />My mind is chained fast<br />to the beating of my heart.</p>
    <h2 id="v">V</h2>
    <p>I sit up slowly creaking.<br />I find myself alone buried<br /><a href="the-sea_the-beach.html">in an ocean</a>. Far off</p>
    <p><a href="mountain.html">there is an eagle</a> flying<br />toward me. She lands on<br />my knee and lays an egg.</p>
    <p>I think <em>not this again</em><br />something I’ve never<br />thought in my life.</p>
    <h2 id="vi">VI</h2>
    <p>I think <em>not this again</em><br />something I’ve never<br />thought in my life. Not</p>
    <p>after losing my car keys<br />in the easy chair. Not after<br />scratching myself on a branch.</p>
    <p>Not after finding the thing<br />in your dresser drawer that<br />night. <a href="ouroboros_memory.html">I remember you suddenly.</a></p>
    <h2 id="vii">VII</h2>
    <p><a href="#I">You run through me<br />like rats</a> down an alley.<br />You are in my <a href="plant.html">blood</a>.</p>
    <p>You scared me once<br />remember? Jumped out<br />of the bathroom door.</p>
    <p>I fell screaming onto<br />the linoleum. Did you<br />apologize? Did you need to?</p>
    <h2 id="viii">VIII</h2>
    <p>The ocean that surrounds me<br />creaks like a rocking<br />cradle. Your face bright</p>
    <p>as the moon at eclipse<br />and as <a href="window.html">red</a>. Low song<br />my tide stretching</p>
    <p>to the horizon. Ripples<br />on the surface belie<br />something bigger beneath.</p>
    <h2 id="ix">IX</h2>
    <p>In bed I am alone for<br />the only time. In bed<br />I am a grown man.</p>
    <p>Below the blankets I<br />know you for who you are.<br />In bed I see your face</p>
    <p>pressed against the window.<br />I look out and see you<br />and I am not afraid.</p>
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