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#!/bin/awk -f
# FUCKTRAIN: FUCKAMUTHA CHOO CHOO -*- awk -*-
# Author: Case Duckworth <acdw@acdw.net>
# License: WTFPL
# Version: #9
BEGIN {
print "ALL ABOARD"
}
{
gsub(/[^-+<>.,\[\]]/, "", $0)
gsub(/+/, "chug ", $0)
gsub(/-/, "chugga ", $0)
gsub(/>/, "choo\n", $0)
gsub(/</, "choo choo\n", $0)
gsub(/\./, clicketyClick(), $0)
gsub(/,/, "clack ", $0)
gsub(/\[/, "tickets please ", $0)
gsub(/\]/, "your ticket please ", $0)
print
}
END {
print "END OF THE LINE"
}
function clicketyClick()
{
if (rand() <= 0.5) {
return "click "
} else {
return "clickety "
}
}
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