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1---
2title: Problems
3id: problems
4genre: prose
5
6project:
7 title: Book of Hezekiah
8 class: hezekiah
9 order: 6
10 next:
11 - title: Liking things
12 link: likingthings
13 prev:
14 - title: Moving sideways
15 link: movingsideways
16...
17
18The problem with people is this: we cannot be happy.
19No matter how hard or easy we try, it is not to be.
20It seems sometimes that, just as the dog was made for jumping in mud and sniffing out foxholes and having a good time all around, man was made for sadness, loneliness and heartache.
21
22Being the observant and judgmental people they are, people have for a long time tried to figure out why they aren't happy.
23Some say it's because we're obviously doing something wrong.
24Some say it's because we think too much.
25Some insist that it's because other people have more stuff than we do.
26These people don't have a clue any more than any of the rest of us.
27At least I don't think they do, and that's good enough for me.[^1]
28I think that the reason why people are unhappy (and this is a personal opinion) is that they realize on some level (for some it's a pretty shallow level, others it's way down there next to their love for women's stockings[^2]) that there is no background to put themselves against, no "[big picture][]" to get painted into.
29This makes sense, because on one level, the level of everyday life, the level of *observation*, there is always a background---look in a pair of binoculars sometime.
30But on another level, that of ... shit, wait.
31There are no other levels.[^3]
32
33What's more, people try to explain how to get happy again (although it's doubtful they were ever happy in the first place---people are very good at fooling).
34Some say standing or [sitting in a building][] with a lot of other unhappy people helps.
35Some say that you can't stop there; you also need to sing with those other unhappy people about how unhappy you are, and how you wish someone would come along and help you out, I guess by giving you money or something.
36I say all you really need to be happy is a good stiff drink.[^4]
37
38In any case, people have for some reason or another, and to some end or another, always been unhappy.
39And people have always tried to figure out ways to be less unhappy---one of the most important things to people everywhere is called "the pursuit of happiness."
40I think that calling it a pursuit makes people feel more like dogs, who are the most happy beings most people can think of.
41By pursuing happiness, they're like a dog pursuing a possum or a bone on a fishing rod: two activities that sound like a lot of fun to most people.
42I think most people wish they were dogs.
43
44[big picture]: ronaldmcdonald.html
45[sitting in a buiding]: feedingtheraven.html
46
47
48[^1]: This seems to be an attempt on Hezzy's part to set an example for
49 mankind. It should be noted that he is an alcoholic, and not in any
50 shape to be an example to anyone.
51
52[^2]: It is thought that only the leg coverings of the female sex are
53 here referenced
54
55[^3]: You have hereby found the super special secret cheat code room.
56 Yes, this is just like Super Mario Brothers---you can skip right to
57 the end. Go and face the final boss already!
58
59[^4]: See footnote, above