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+---
+title: In bed
+genre: verse
+
+id: in-bed
+toc: "In bed"
+
+project:
+    title: Autocento of the breakfast table
+    class: autocento
+...
+
+## I
+
+| I hear [the rats][] run
+| in the walls like water
+| through a tree.  My blood
+
+| thickens.  As I dream
+| the masturbation dream
+| the shelf above my bed
+
+| falls covering me in
+| dirt and decaying beetles.
+| [I see my reflection is headless][].
+
+## II
+
+| When the waves stop
+| [and the moon grins down][]
+| to overtake me: the car
+
+| ran up the street that night
+| when you were nearly
+| molested in your neighbor's house:
+
+| is this why we don't have
+| neighbors?  For this the trees
+| [rot only for us][]?
+
+## III
+
+| I woke screaming and you
+| came to sit next to me.  I felt
+| my eyes were open too wide
+
+| that I could not shut them
+| from the horror movie sitting
+| on your lap in the easy chair
+
+| in the dream the other dream
+| in the living room under
+| the tree.  Why do I feel guilty?
+
+
+## IV
+
+| I wake up in a pool of water
+| [closed over me like an eyelid][].
+| There is no longer comfort
+
+| in staring at the ceiling.
+| Its pitch blackness beckons
+| into a future of blankness.
+
+| My body lay still quaking.
+| My mind is chained fast
+| to the beating of my heart.
+
+## V
+
+| I sit up slowly creaking.
+| I find myself alone buried
+| [in an ocean][].  Far off
+
+| [there is an eagle][] flying
+| toward me.  She lands on
+| my knee and lays an egg.
+
+| I think *not this again*
+| something I've never
+| thought in my life.
+
+## VI
+
+| I think *not this again*
+| something I've never
+| thought in my life.  Not
+
+| after losing my car keys
+| in the easy chair.  Not after
+| scratching myself on a branch.
+
+| Not after finding the thing
+| in your dresser drawer that
+| night.  [I remember you suddenly.][]
+
+
+## VII
+
+| [You run through me
+| like rats][rats] down an alley.
+| You are in my [blood][].
+
+| You scared me once
+| remember?  Jumped out
+| of the bathroom door.
+
+| I fell screaming onto
+| the linoleum.  Did you
+| apologize?  Did you need to?
+
+## VIII
+
+| The ocean that surrounds me
+| creaks like a rocking
+| cradle.  Your face bright
+
+| as the moon at eclipse
+| and as [red][].  Low song
+| my tide stretching
+
+| to the horizon.  Ripples
+| on the surface belie
+| something bigger beneath.
+
+## IX
+
+| In bed I am alone for
+| the only time.  In bed
+| I am a grown man.
+
+| Below the blankets I
+| know you for who you are.
+| In bed I see your face
+
+| pressed against the window.
+| I look out and see you
+| and I am not afraid.
+
+[the rats]: last-bastion.html
+[I see my reflection is headless]: deathstrumpet.html
+[and the moon grins down]: moon-drowning.html
+[rot only for us]: options.html
+[closed over me like an eyelid]: theoceanoverflowswithcamels.html
+[in an ocean]: the-sea_the-beach.html
+[there is an eagle]: mountain.html
+[I remember you suddenly.]: ouroboros_memory.html
+[rats]: #I
+[blood]: plant.html
+[red]: window.html