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---
title: In bed
id: in-bed
genre: verse
project:
title: Autocento of the breakfast table
class: autocento
...
## I
| I hear [the rats][] run
| in the walls like water
| through a tree. My blood
| thickens. As I dream
| the masturbation dream
| the shelf above my bed
| falls covering me in
| dirt and decaying beetles.
| [I see my reflection is headless][].
## II
| When the waves stop
| [and the moon grins down][]
| to overtake me: the car
| ran up the street that night
| when you were nearly
| molested in your neighbor's house:
| is this why we don't have
| neighbors? For this the trees
| [rot only for us][]?
## III
| I woke screaming and you
| came to sit next to me. I felt
| my eyes were open too wide
| that I could not shut them
| from the horror movie sitting
| on your lap in the easy chair
| in the dream the other dream
| in the living room under
| the tree. Why do I feel guilty?
## IV
| I wake up in a pool of water
| [closed over me like an eyelid][].
| There is no longer comfort
| in staring at the ceiling.
| Its pitch blackness beckons
| into a future of blankness.
| My body lay still quaking.
| My mind is chained fast
| to the beating of my heart.
## V
| I sit up slowly creaking.
| I find myself alone buried
| [in an ocean][]. Far off
| [there is an eagle][] flying
| toward me. She lands on
| my knee and lays an egg.
| I think *not this again*
| something I've never
| thought in my life.
## VI
| I think *not this again*
| something I've never
| thought in my life. Not
| after losing my car keys
| in the easy chair. Not after
| scratching myself on a branch.
| Not after finding the thing
| in your dresser drawer that
| night. [I remember you suddenly.][]
## VII
| [You run through me
| like rats][rats] down an alley.
| You are in my [blood][].
| You scared me once
| remember? Jumped out
| of the bathroom door.
| I fell screaming onto
| the linoleum. Did you
| apologize? Did you need to?
## VIII
| The ocean that surrounds me
| creaks like a rocking
| cradle. Your face bright
| as the moon at eclipse
| and as [red][]. Low song
| my tide stretching
| to the horizon. Ripples
| on the surface belie
| something bigger beneath.
## IX
| In bed I am alone for
| the only time. In bed
| I am a grown man.
| Below the blankets I
| know you for who you are.
| In bed I see your face
| pressed against the window.
| I look out and see you
| and I am not afraid.
[the rats]: last-bastion.html
[I see my reflection is headless]: deathstrumpet.html
[and the moon grins down]: moon-drowning.html
[rot only for us]: options.html
[closed over me like an eyelid]: theoceanoverflowswithcamels.html
[in an ocean]: the-sea_the-beach.html
[there is an eagle]: mountain.html
[I remember you suddenly.]: ouroboros_memory.html
[rats]: #I
[blood]: plant.html
[red]: window.html
|
