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|
---
title: A real writer
genre: verse
id: real-writer
toc: "A real writer"
project:
title: Autocento of the breakfast table
class: autocento
...
| Sometimes I feel as though I am not a real writer.
| [I don't smoke][]. I don't wake up early but I don't sleep
| all day either. I find myself increasingly interested
| in dumb luck. Chance: I've found two dimes in as many
| days. Does this mean I've found twenty lucky pennies?
| I want you to participate. You the reader. You,
| the probabilistic god of my dreams. I've been having
| [strange dreams][] lately. I don't remember them but
| they leave impressions. A bare foot. A tunnel
| of hair from her face to mine. A boat stranded
| in a living-room. Something warm. Something like the sun
| through my eyelids. [A hand, with all its dead symbology][].
| [My teeth have fallen out][]. No, you pulled them out
| with your hands, threw them over your left shoulder
| [like salt][], to wish away bad luck. I have something
| to tell you: bad luck follows like a dog. It lets you
| get ahead for a few days, a week, a year. You'll see,
| it'll bite your sleeping face when you're not looking.
| I've been dreaming about the future, I know. In my dream
| I am not a writer, [I live in a place with rain][]. You
| are sunning yourself as you read this, on a beach or
| maybe a desert. Let me move in with you. I can cook
| [or clean][] or take care of your dog while you're out.
| I'll never have to write again. [I'll watch television][].
| Do I want to become a writer? Tell me. Should I smoke?
| I can sleep all day in your attic if you want, become
| [your god][], lose my own, settle to the bottom of the bed
| like a boat in a river, dream about nothing but [furniture][].
[I don't smoke]: cereal.html
[strange dreams]: in-bed.html
[A hand, with all its dead symbology]: roughgloves.html
[My teeth have fallen out]: no-nothing.html
[like salt]: i-am.html
[I live in a place with rain]: riptide_memory.html
[or clean]: when-im-sorry-i.html
[I'll watch television]: about-the-author.html
[your god]: love-as-god.html
[furniture]: leaf.html
|
